Memes. Immaturity. Jaded former idealist. No DMs.

Bronx, NY
Joined July 2010
You've heard of Elf on a Shelf, but how about...
5
6
1
40
22,963
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
The technique that I use when it comes to online retards who want to just circularly argue with you and waste your time is so useful. Just add "reply if you eat poo" at the end of your reply. If they don't reply, great. If they do, you get to laugh at them for eating poo.
73
47
4
1,500
28,038
Remember back when your paranoid friend used to tape something over their laptop's camera? Now they're all built with a privacy slider. They're still listening through the mic though, so...
1
49
Why, yes, I was home at 4:20! Why do you ask?
33
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
meka leka hi meka hiney ho
1
3
22
720
Going over the Manhattan Bridge again. No, you don’t need another picture.
2
86
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
Urban Dictionary never disappoints
28
42
5
650
25,600
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
Every person you see in public wearing a bluetooth headset is fighting a battle they really want you to hear only one side of.
1
7
15
256
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
I voted straight-ticket Republican because I don’t want America to turn into France & I don’t want our elections run like Brazil’s.
885
6,569
120
50,696
321,826
Williamsburg Bridge from the Manhattan Bridge (behind the fence).
2
5
110
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
1
6
311
My town’s Verizon store is in an old Pizza Hut, and some of the employees say that in the evening if you listen really closely you can hear the faint sound of personal pan pizzas being made in the back.
8
15
160
2,283
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
Dear Diary, Yesterday I realized that I’m so old I used to Blockbuster and chill. A single tear rolled down my cheek.
7
4
29
498
Mondays don’t bother me as much as they do Garfield.
4
96
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
I’m asking New York to get vocal against Hochul — peacefully. Vote Bruce Blakeman.
549
5,413
71
32,116
228,777
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
3
10
4
44
764
“He was a bunghole.”-Butthead, when asked how he felt about Beavis unfollowing him
1
131
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
8
54
3
206
3,089
the Real Clem Shady retweeted
The next time my wife asks me if I cheated on her, I'll respond, "Not to my knowledge." Thanks for the advice Ilhan 👍
78
83
7
760
6,225
Oh, no! The ‘weaves stink’ tweets guy unfollowed me! Don’t weave me!😂
1
84
Woke up and none of my apps were working on my phone. Oh no, the php bandits have gotten us! Rebooted my router and all was well again.
92