No responses even when promised help, in the case of medical emergency

Exactly one year in #China and I still can't figure out who is possibly buying vibrators and lubricant at the #FamilyMart checkout counter

The stars're all like, "We be burnin' not concernin' what nobody wanna say."

Finally circumvented the Great Firewall of #China. Can stop just playing #Beyonce's album on repeat now, though certainly #notcomplaining

Unrepentant sinners are probably forced to wander the streets of Times Square for all eternity. #hell #nyc – at Manhattan, NY

The annual scramble for all things #heattech in size small @UniqloUSA #winterishere – at Manhattan, NY

Two tracks diverged in a subway station, and I took the one marked Express -- and that has made all the difference. Except not at all #nyc

Kendallzzz I'll take your bod and wardrobe, and you can keep the utterly blah personality. #AMAs #Jenneric – at Dacula-Rocky Creek, GA

Okay, voice is decidedly sexier with cold. But the persistent, hacking cough is probs less cute. #sick – at Queens, NY

Never have I ever been the only person in airport security. Or consequently been golf-carted 100 feet to my gate. #savannah – at Savannah, GA

There's a special place in hell reserved for people who cram the overhead compartments with their coats and shopping bags on full flights. – at Queens, NY

That beautiful time of year when missed connections love is truest. "You: sexy traffic cone, me: Pope Benedict XVI." #m4w #starcrossed

Betting every little girl dreamt of growing up to be cast as Ugly Frey Daughter Number 4. #gameofthrones #firsttweetin4years

I really don't understand twitter...