yesterday my 13 year old was being harsh and impatient with me, and to my own surprise i started crying. embarrassed and through tears I said “i don’t know why you’re being so harsh with me, but if you’ll tell me what’s going on i’d like to help.” at first i felt embarrassed for being so affected by how she was treating me, and for crying in front of my children. but what happened was they were able to witness me feeling my feelings before i was able to process them, and this was the foundation of a really lovely conversation and moment of deep connection. later my 7 year old said “i’ve seen you cry from happiness or laughing a lot, but i didn’t know that you cried when you’re sad too” and oof. in wanting to provide them with a sense of stability and security i realize that i’ve processed most difficulties privately, and that’s not helping them at all. my family of origin was chaotic and unsafe, and i think i swung to the opposite extreme of totally sanitizing my difficult feelings before communicating them with my family. i’m so grateful for this incremental awareness that will help me be more deeply connected to my children. :) – at Paso Robles, CA