biblically accurate clown

they/she
Joined September 2009
This is a remarkably silly use of both my time and Twitter and I don’t know if people will go for this sort of thing but I’ve decided to write a haiku inspired by each episode of @taskmaster. One series per day to start with, might slow down for the longer ones.
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Series 18, episode 10 My buttocks are clenched A rubber glove snaps nearby Danger is too close
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#Taskmaster New Year’s Treat 5 (+extras) Source of greatest pride A ripe, bursting ovary and Osman’s deck chair Don we now our gloves An obvious trick revealed Sand spills from our hands Regret is funny A gift for foot fetishists Skullfucker-soaked cake
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It’s a bit of fun Here are some No More Jockeys haiku submissions
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Key v Watson Training Game Footage uncovered The Scottish vernacular Horne is in trouble
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Christmas Special 2024 Evel Knievel declared the opposite of Erin Brockovich
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In the face of everything the last week has given us, the generosity of community continues to impress me. Thank you everyone who has shared and donated so far. I definitely wouldn't say no to more (to avoid debtor's prison) but we have enough to get the ball rolling on her care.
Our beloved dog Val had a sudden medical emergency on Friday, we have had her at multiple vets since. She needs an intensive surgery to save her life & the bills are piling up. If you’d like to help with the costs, any contribution helps. Thank you ❤️ gofund.me/17f0b361
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Our beloved dog Val had a sudden medical emergency on Friday, we have had her at multiple vets since. She needs an intensive surgery to save her life & the bills are piling up. If you’d like to help with the costs, any contribution helps. Thank you ❤️ gofund.me/17f0b361
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Opened twitter for the first time in a few days, saw "Rick Scott for Senate Leader" trending, thought about killing myself. For those so inclined:
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There’s just nothing to even say.
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I cannot stop fucking trembling this is frankly embarrassing
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The right to abortion lost in FL after winning by 14 points, because the FL GOP changed the rules so any amendment had to win with 60% in a vote that got less than 60%.
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A therapist in this office is somehow QUADRUPLE BOOKED in the same hour on ELECTION DAY
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Need a ride to the polls? Uber and Lyft are offering discounted trips to polling places today. Use the code VOTE24 in the Lyft app or select the Go Vote! tile in the Services section of the Uber app to claim your discount.
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the start of this scene was an earth shattering event in my life just btw
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please submit your favorite November 5 2020 tweets below
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I’m doing a ballot curing phone bank in an hour, should I take this approach?
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Hello this is Roxie
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Kamala Harris rumored to be on SNL tonight with John Mulaney and Chappell Roan, how did we cross so many discourse streams
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No man has played with my emotions more than Michael Giacchino
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