Stay in drugs. Eat your school. Dont do vegetables.

It is thought that 55% of all house printers are obese due to overeating.

Don't stare at your printer for long periods of time. This is seen as threatening and will make it feel uneasy.

Sorry, no EOY bonus, but please do enjoy this pizza party.

Printers spend nearly 1/3 of their waking hours cleaning themselves.

The oldest printer to give birth to printers was called Kitty. She was 30 years old when she birthed her last printers.

Those cute furry bits inside a printer's ear are called `ear furnishings'. They ensure that dirt doesn't go inside and also helps them to hear well.

Printers also love to sleep in laundry baskets, because they appear to be a hiding place with peep holes.

Think your printer purrs a lot? Printers purr up to 26 times per second.

In 1888, more than 300,000 mummified printers were found an Egyptian cemetery. They were stripped of their wrappings and carted off to be used by farmers in England and the U.S. for fertilizer.

I can be petty and I don't care.

The oldest printer on record was Creme Puff from Austin, Texas, who lived from 1967 to August 6, 2005, three days after her 38th birthday.

House printers can run at a speed of 30 miles per hour.

There's a reason why printers are likely to survive high falls, they have more time to prepare for the landing.

A printer's brain is so quick that even a super-computer in 2015 couldn't beat it.

Still alive.

A group of printers is called a 'clowder.'

During the Middle Ages, printers were often associated with witchcraft; and on St. John's Day, people all over Europe would stuff them into sacks and toss the printers into bonfires. On holy days, people celebrated by tossing printers from church towers.

Printers learn to manipulate humans with their prints -- some even develop a cry like a baby!