˙ . ꒷ 🎐 . 𖦹˙ i only know how to suffer (write and play gacha games) — ♥︎

she/her ∙ 25↑
Joined September 2010
there is someone in xzs who knows exactly which button to press to deal maximum damage to us all
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one of these is not like the others
what do you use on the new abyss floor 12 2nd half if you have no skirk or escoffier 🫩
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good morning to yet another incredibly specific intersection of my interests!! she swan he swan!!! 🦢
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you will see me in the news (reprise)
kalau nanti yibo konser bawain bu wang, tamatlah kita semua
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#1 megane spy xz propagandist ໒꒱ ₊ retweeted
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#1 megane spy xz propagandist ໒꒱ ₊ retweeted
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seeing xz label this long heartfelt letter as "behind the scenes notes" is so moving. xz, just how many such letters have you written to better understand your characters? how much have you ached for them? how many times have you wished for their happiness; to send them off well?
xz weibo update. “some behind-the-scenes notes. the first time I read the script, it described you as unable to cry, but I could always feel the turmoil within you, like a frozen river. you could only see the snow on the surface, but the undercurrents beneath were unknown because the ice was so thick... when you saw your mother's restored body and said, ‘she looks like she's asleep, the technique is amazing,’ I kept thinking, what were you thinking at that moment? did you want to hug your mother again like when you were a child? or did you want your mother to stop sleeping there, that she'd catch a cold? did you want to ask your mother why she left? or did you want your mother to praise you for saving her life again? when I came to my senses, the script in my hand was already soaked with tears. I remember during filming, I was afraid to go to the set, staying next to the director on the monitor, because I knew that if I went to the set and saw jiang hongbo's portrayal of your mother lying there, I wouldn't be able to control my emotions. but I knew that as liu zhengliang in that moment, I had to control myself. I sat in front of the screen watching my mother's image. li zhongling, to outsiders you seem so beautiful and approachable, diligently managing your life... why did things come to this? was it because of illness? but your son is an excellent doctor... or was it because of that snowstorm years ago? it turns out that three people were trapped under that thick, icy layer of snow. suddenly, the saying ‘parents are also first-time parents’ comes to mind. back then, your mother was probably around the same age as liang. it wasn't that she didn't love him, on the contrary, she loved him too much. the winters in northeast china are too long, the snow too heavy, and they were both trapped. she could only send liang to the safest place. a strong and optimistic mother, an independent and sensible liang, you both presented what you thought was your strongest image to each other. both of you could only try to hide it, and neither of you could face the fact that your son had to be in the south. this is another wound that will never heal for her. ms. li zhongling, you've suffered so much these past years. it seems no one has ever asked you how you've managed, whether you're happy, whether you're proud of liang, or if there's anything you still want to say to him. stop using xiaoguang to express your longing for liang. call liang... if there's still a chance. liang, after thinking about all this, I think I understand why you said that at the beginning. you could only imagine saying those words to your mother that you hadn't uttered for many years: ‘mom, I miss you.’”
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oh is this the stage set for drifting (among others)? this is so lovely... the idea of xz stepping out of a painting but also never truly leaving it, hovering between reality and a dream, just like so many of his songs talk about 🥺
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i need to watch that stage director interview tomorrow when i'm more lucid. i will inhale anything about the creative decisions that went into this concert
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EVERY DAY WE INCH CLOSER TO XZ PSYCHOLOGICAL CRIME THRILLER. SPEAKING IT INTO EXISTENCE.
261024 Fox Studio x Xiao Zhan interview Xiao Zhan says he wants to take on horror, mystery, and crime-themed projects. When Xiao Zhan heard that he should keep acting until he’s 80, he immediately couldn’t hold back his laughter! All he could do was shyly said “Thank you.” Stay tuned for the full interview!
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truly the past few weeks have taught me that maybe i should just be more shameless about manifesting things for myself rl. if it works for things like my oshi's outfits and song requests then surely i can manifest good things for ME
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#1 megane spy xz propagandist ໒꒱ ₊ retweeted
does it just how ever drive fast the you crazy night changes
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oh 😭 a full cam of the original queen of the wm album 😭♥️
[Full HD] Xiao Zhan - 《都一样》 Anonymous #XiaoZhanSoloConcert #XiaoZhanConcertxNanjing1
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#1 megane spy xz propagandist ໒꒱ ₊ retweeted
CCTV news shared FULL HD video of Xiao Zhan concert stage Xiao Zhan - 《竹石》 Bamboo in The Rocks #XiaoZhanSoloConcert
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i leave for one (1) day and xzs posts 30 times or something. backtracking will break my back when i have to miss nanjing day 2 and both the shanghai cons 😭
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i went to the rilakkuma pop-up today! it's a procession of teddies!! ALL THE TEDDIES!!! 🧸
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I MET RILAKKUMA TODAY 😭💛😭💛😭💛
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3-apples-tall doctor with his 30-foot poster 😭
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everywhere i go, i see them together,,,
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it's been 12 hours and i still haven't left this restaurant. one day technology will be so advanced that i can permanently brand this behind my eyelids
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