Nobody loves Texas more than me, even if Texas politically has never seemed to match the real folks of Texas. And I’ve put up with a lot of shit, but Ken Paxton should have no shot at elected office. None. Terrible human being. If he wasn’t Republican, I’d feel the same way.

Completely prepared for The Texans to break my heart today.

I am willing to sell the rights to my $5000 Trump dividend for $1000 today.

Oklahoma City. I have 2 suggestions. 1. Get some Mexicans to make your tacos. 2. Change the team name to the Bombers.

Thank you MAGA's for not watching Bad Bunny halftime show by telling us in detail about the show you did not watch.

If we can’t do this, I don’t want hang out. youtube.com/shorts/jXrS0SapF…

It’s too fucking cold in Colorado. Can’t wait for my week staycation in Austin.

Would it be too crazy to take them all home?

That’s not necessary

Ran some errands. Took 2 naps. Went to Pakistani Restaurant. Thinking about a 3rd nap. Might take off to NYC for the rest of the week. Successful Monday.

Monday hits different when you don’t have to work.

Don’t know why my algorithm got me on Pamala Anderson interviews. Can you imagine going through so much in life and coming out the other end just ADORABLE?

Dang. The vaccine got Hulk Hogan too?

The previous redistricting in Texas is starting to wear off, so now Texas is looking to tip the scales in 3 more areas. I call this the Ann Richards effect. After she won, they said never again. That’s how much she scared them.

Fixed it for Gen X.

Being there for this girl is my greatest achievement. From playing tea party to sports to seeing her travel the World. But nobody ever told me about the empty nester sads.

I like NPR, but what kind of asshole defunds PBS?

It’s possibly a lost cause for this Texas boy to find good tacos in The Hamptons. But I try..