"Immigrants are assimilating!" "Oh, that's really great to hear! So they're not celebrating foreign holidays anymore?" "No" "Are they no longer using welfare in disproportionate numbers?" "No" "Are they venerating our Founding Fathers?" "No" "Do they prefer American cuisine?" "No" "They're no longer benefiting from affirmative action?" "No" "Those that are business owners are trying to hire Americans first?" "No" "They've stopped caring about foreign conflicts that don't directly affect America?" "No" "Are they converting to Christianity/Judaism (which the vast majority of American's identify as)?" "No" "They've haven't set up ethnic enclaves in cities, right? "No" "Are they telling their children not to speak any language other than English outside the home (like past immigrants have)? "No" "Are they no longer sending remittances to relatives thousands of miles away?" "No" "So, they still have significant ties and affections to their home countries?" "......Yes." "Ok, how have they assimilated?" "They're watching football now, BIGOT!!!"