carley ☼ retweeted
I call this one “Two drunk guys singing Turnpike on an elevator til the lights go out” @zachlanebryan – at Washington, USA
“you’re going the wrong way out” “umm ive had sex in this parking lot i know how to get around, thank you”
it amazes me how some people can look an entire menu up and down and still confidently order something that’s not fucking on it
i told my dog not to lick this woman’s toes (he’s bad about it) and she said “oh no it’s fine i kinda like it” i thought she was joking so i laughed and she said “seriously it feels pretty good” BITCH 😭😭😭
just remembered one night i was trying to close but the people at the bar wouldn’t leave so i put the station on disney princess radio and instead of being appalled and leaving everyone just started singing aladdin
carley ☼ retweeted
OK let's try this again, ordering a nothing burger from McDonalds. this time nothing else in the order.
will they cancel it? deliver an empty bag? i am doing this so you don't have to
