Sorry if you felt overwhelmed last night. When I said "drop by later, Lindas coming by" I meant every possible Linda, not just the one we both know
You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and the most flies with a huge piece of shit so what are we even talking about
Chaperoning a field trip and a kid just asked if I've ever heard one two buckle my shoe like that shit just dropped this week
There is a long list of things I'd rather die than do, and that's not even necessarily a harsh condemnation of the things on that list.
Probably the funniest brag in the history of hip hop was Eminem's claim that the intended target of the infamous 9/11 attacks was in fact Shady records
If you're a kid living in the timeline of a Christmas movie, and your dad is super hot, I'm sorry, but your mom is about to die
the shoulder proportions of a bodybuilder are now achievable without drugs, overnight, with just one simple head reduction surgery
Where do extremely online polyamorous people sleep? In a four poster bed. That's just a little joke.
grounding my sons for repeatedly going goblin mode in the hopes that their protests will reveal the meaning of the phrase to me
when being a business man feels soulless I fondly recall the whimsical mergers and acquisitions of my youth as a business child
