As Twitter leaves us, please don’t lose touch. Patreon: Patreon.com/catvalente Substack: catvalente.substack.com Mastodon: wandering.shop/@catvalente Bluesky: catvalente.bsky.social Insta: Instagram.com/catvalente FB: Facebook.com/cmvalente I’ll be seeing you…

Truly amazing how a group “devoted” to “authors” “wrote” a wholly meaningless “charter” crammed full of weasel words, empty marketing lingo, *classically* slippery philosophical concepts like fucking “good,” & condescending hand-wavy “I hereby declare Facebook is forbidden to use my personal data!!”disclaimer vaguespeak a 3rd grader could chase up a sophist-tree to mean just about anything. GOLD STAR, COMRADES ✊ YOU HAVE SOLVED AI bsky.app/profile/societyofau…

This is also my first published poem in quite awhile: Witch (Wood) Wood (Witch) about the fell bargain between a witch and her forest. What can I say; ask me to write something to accompany a legend’s painting and the strangest things come out… amzn.to/4hLh1ea

Today’s a DOUBLE book release day for me! The first is this amazing, star-jammed anthology The Book of the Dead ed by @jonathanstrahan.bsky.social! My story is (very humbly) called This Is What Happens When You Die. I am SO proud of it; one of my favorite things I’ve ever written amzn.to/3WbT9ZZ

I don’t care where you started out on the political spectrum. If your kid comes out as trans & you don’t become a rainbow-clad, parade-cheering ally & rock-solid supportive girl/boy/enby dad/mom? You were never a parent at all. You were a doll collector furious they didn’t stay in their packaging. If you can go every level of ham to support their travel hockey league, whether you like hockey or not, you can do it to support their deepest hearts & souls. For fuck’s sake.

I think I’m just going to keep our birthday sign up year-round. There’s a lot of ways to be “on party business” after all. Best find one before you knock!

It’s legit one of the weirdest things to happen on this Plane of Weirdest Things that of all the Weirdest Things, fucking Harry Potter and the Methods of goddamned Rationality might ultimately end the bloody world.

Every month on Patreon I post progress pics of my slow, mostly inept remodeling/reclaiming of my “quirky” 125-year-old Maine house. This month: master bathroom windows—this room has been slow but soon will be done & ready to be shown in full! patreon.com/catvalente/posts…

The Childe’s #LordoftheRings is accomplished! Tag urself I’m the Bacons of Gondor Are Lit (Full write-up on Patreon: patreon.com/catvalente/posts…)

You know, when my child was quite small & I was playing Queen for them, I had this thought. “This music is 50 years old. Is it weird to be playing it for a kid now? My parents didn’t play me music from the 30s…” Then I remembered that I spent most of the 90s swing dancing to music from the 40s three times a week & felt as silly as Tim should feel.

As the Childe’s birthday party wound down this weekend, a group of adults were talking about homeowner nonsense & Childe calmly deadpans: “When you think about it we’re all homes.” Adults: “Wh…at?” *8-year-old waves their arms in the air excitedly & yells: “TO BACTERIA AND PARASITES!”

Happy 8th Birthday to my darling Childe, who makes everything a better kind of chaotic. I love you, big kitten.

You better HOPE this is late-stage capitalism. But that phrase was invented to describe the post-WWI era, babes. They thought it was late-stage 100 years ago, too. Capitalism hasn’t been around long enough for anyone to make any kind of sweeping pronouncements about its natural life cycle. This could just be the awkward young adult years before things get REALLY messy. Have a nice day!

You know, when I can’t afford something & my credit is maxed out, I just don’t get to have it. So weird. Maybe they should hold a bake sale. That’s how we fund unimportant stuff like education.

My latest essay on AI/AGI and the baffling promises/threats of maybe total destruction maybe a personal slave for everyone is now up on Patreon if you don't want to deal with Substack: patreon.com/catvalente/posts…

From my new essay about the new social contract AI/AGI is actually meant to force us to sign: catvalente.substack.com/p/gr…

Follow-up essay to my piece on AI being meant to replace, not, or at least, not just human labor, but human connection; this one taking apart what we mean when we talk about AI/AGI, and the rarely-spoken truth of what it's for: catvalente.substack.com/p/gr…

New Random Access Mind up on Patreon! (Every month a random thing, could be original work, could be behind the scenes stuff, could be anything) This month: my only actual published comic! patreon.com/catvalente/posts…

Boccaccio introducing the Decameron, 1348: “I’m just a guy who REALLY loves both the ladies & big feelings! Yet the ladies consistently reject me? Tbh tho I’ve been thinking & pretty sure the best way to heal is to use my platform to show society the plight of women & convince you fucks to show a little empathy bc they have it worse than any man, like seriously GOD DAMN.” Wow, sounds pretty untrad, there, Johnny Big Mouth. Smells like DEI bullshit. Simp! Woke! Feminism out of control!

Back hurts. Google asks if I want AI to compare massage prices. Fine, I think. That’s actually annoying, so let’s see. 19 HOURS LATER I get an email with “results” confusingly presented, price buried in fine print, for ONE place. That’s not in my city. So glad we’re ending civilization for this!