Bon vivant 🍷 Chelsea supporter ⚽️ Cat servant 🐱 Ravenclaw 🐦‍⬛

Birmingham, England
Joined February 2009
The Tricolore textbooks did not prepare us for all this shit going off in France. The most exciting thing that ever happened in La Rochelle was Annette falling off her bike or Philippe enjoying a particularly tense game of le badminton down l'auberge de jeunesse.
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On this day in 1963, a cat named Félicette became a feline space traveler when she launched into space on a mission conducted by the French space program. The spaceflight, which Félicette survived, was suborbital and lasted less than 15 minutes.
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99% of women and girls in Somalia have been mutilated in the following way: the clitoris is cut off, along with the inner labia. Then the inner flesh of the outer labia is removed before both sides are sewn tightly together, leaving a hole no bigger than a matchstick for urine and menses to trickle through. All of this is done in childhood, and without any form of anesthesia whatsoever. Sometimes the little girl is given a scrap of leather or a stick to bite down on. The cutters use old razor blades, or sometimes a piece of broken glass. This is only the beginning of a girl’s pain. Most wedding nights in Somalia are aided by “the little knife” — that is, the new husband slices his bride open so that he can penetrate her now cut and bleeding scar tissue. Some men, however, simply batter their way through, tearing that tiny hole open by sheer force. When a woman goes into labor, she’s cut open more widely, then sewn back up afterwards so that when sex resumes she will have to be cut open yet again. This practice leads to countless deaths from infection and a drastic increase in maternal mortality, but Somali men still refuse to marry uncut women, forcing mothers to have their daughters cut or face social stigma. Uncut girls are seen as dirty; the term for clitoris is a playground taunt in Somalia, and girls who are not cut are usually ostracized by their peers. The Somali government recently debated the legality of this appalling custom, and the parliament largely split along gender lines. Female MPs roundly condemned FGM, while male MPs insisted that having a clitoris made a woman more difficult to penetrate, and quoted the hadith in which Muhammad condoned the practice. These are educated men who nevertheless claim that cutting a girl is necessary in order to control her sexuality, and that an uncut woman will be promiscuous and untrustworthy. In spite of the Somali government’s continued support for FGM, foreign aid continues to flow into Somalia unobstructed. The West should refuse to give the Somali government so much as a single dollar until they outlaw FGM and take positive steps to combat the problem. One tactic that has been highly successful involves showing Somali men a video of a girl being mutilated. Because FGM is seen as women’s business, most men have no idea what it entails. Men who watch this video are horrified, and the most common reaction has been “Not my daughter!” This proves that FGM is not hopelessly entrenched in Somali culture. Western pressure and resources could make an enormous difference in the lives of Somali women and girls, and put a stop to this barbaric practice.
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We owe £3 trillion. We spend more on working-age benefits than we raise in income tax. Our social security budget is five times our actual security budget. And these two are pretending to be gap-year vloggers in Bangkok.
🚨 WATCH: Ed Miliband and John Healey try Thai snacks while riding a Tuk Tuk around Bangkok
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This was October 7.
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To all those attending the Pro-Palestinian march in London today; I hope the heavens open on you, you develop blisters which get infected & your keffiyeh forever smells of wet dog. I genuinely mean that. You awful human beings. 💋
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Lucy Caton retweeted
It’s October 3rd 💝
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Pardon me for not giving two fucks about what happens to Man City.
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The best idea I've heard to date on suitable punishments for @ManCity is to require the sale of the club. After all, that is what happened to @ChelseaFC simply because Abramovich was Russian & mooted to have ties with Putin. Those ties weren't voluntary. City's breaches were
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If they’re going to remove 11 sketches from That Mitchell and Webb Look on iPlayer because ‘the comedy doesn’t work in 2026,’ can they please remove Mrs. Brown’s Boys too because ‘the comedy doesn’t work unless you’ve had a full frontal lobotomy.’
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Lucy Caton retweeted
Todd Boehly banner for sale. Used once, excellent condition. No reasonable offer refused or part exchange for a decent midfield player.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
🚨 WATCH: Andy Burnham is mocked in the opener of #SNLUK series 2
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Lucy Caton retweeted
We’re in a bizarre phase where knowing exactly who the women are and pretending to not know who the women are is happening simultaneously and both positions are being used to punish women.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
No. Just women have periods...
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This is what being hounded actually looks like. An academic has been suspended, not for professional misconduct or plagiarism or bad teaching, but because his opinions are unpopular.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
The fact that the Home Office has felt the need to produce a booklet telling illegal migrants... - Not to rape women - Not to rape children - Not to hit or kick their partner - Not to control what a woman wears - Not to control where a woman goes - Not to whistle or make kissing noises at someone - Not to take sexual images of someone without their consent ... should make the Home Office have a serious think about the kind of people they are shovelling taxpayers' money towards.
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Another dangerous falsehood I'm hearing: journalists and others who investigated the facts of the Arday case have "blood on their hands." No. We have a duty to the truth and we must build institutions and hire people who can stand up to scrutiny.
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Heartening to see you supporting farmers. But go further. Reverse the inheritance tax. Build new reservoirs. Ensure that schools and hospitals get local farm food rather than contracts with corporations who provide ultra processed food. Ensure a better deal for farmers with supermarkets.
I know I’ve got work to do to win the trust of Britain’s farmers. Today we’re putting £65m more into supporting farmers through this drought and preparing for the summers ahead. They’re on the frontline of a changing climate and they shouldn’t be left to face it alone. The ability to grow our own food is national security. I’ll treat it that way.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
The £65m is reprioritised from Defra's existing farming budget, not new money from the Treasury. Total agricultural spending remains unchanged as funds are diverted from other departmental programmes. fwi.co.uk/news/burnham-a… defrafarming.blog.gov.uk/2026/08/15/new…
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Lucy Caton retweeted
The idea than number 10 north is going to good for all non-London cities, not just Manchester V Andy Burnham making not a single comment, not a single social media post, about the fact that Birmingham is hosting the European athletics, the first time a British city has done so.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
Gerald is standing in green grass this August, and the field across the lane has gone the colour of a paper bag, and the only difference between the two of them is a plough. You can see the line from the gateway. It runs along the hedge like somebody drew it with a ruler. One side is pale and cracked wide enough to put a finger in and it crunches when you walk on it. The other side gives underfoot, and it is green, and there is a nine hundred kilogram Hereford working across the middle of it at the speed of a man reading a newspaper he has already read. The lane field was ploughed and reseeded four years ago. New ley, high yield, drilled for a heavy first cut, and it gave one, and it has given less every year since, because the roots on it stop about four inches down where the drill left them. Four inches of soil in a dry August holds nothing. The man who owns it has had the bowser out twice this week and is buying feed in the middle of summer, which is the thing no farmer wants a neighbour to watch him do. Gerald's forty acres have not had a plough on them since some time in the eighteenth century. Nobody planted that sward. It arrived over two hundred years of being grazed and dunged and rained on and otherwise left alone, and it is about forty different things growing in among each other, half of which have no commercial name, several of which have gone down after water past two metres. There is no dry spell in the recorded history of this country that reaches two metres. So the grass keeps coming in the worst month of the year, and the bull keeps eating it, and what he leaves behind goes back in and the beetles have it buried inside a week and the roots go down after it again. He came down a ramp there at five months old, looked at the whole forty acres for about ninety seconds, and walked to the south corner. He has never revisited the decision. Not in a drought, not in a hailstorm, not in the eleven days of horizontal rain, not at minus six with the trough iced solid. Same corner, same hour, same pace, for four years, in a country where everything else has an opinion about the weather. The south corner has seven wildflower species in it now, and a bumblebee count, and a dung beetle population, and none of that was anybody's project. It is just what happens to ground that has one animal standing on it who has never once been talked out of anything. There is no scheme paying for any of this. No contractor, no invoice, no line in the paperwork, because in the paperwork this field is classified as unimproved land, which is the official term for ground nobody has got round to wrecking yet. The hedge is thick. The wall stands because the bottom of it is grazed. The swallows are over the middle of the field at seven every evening working the flies that follow him about, and they are not over the lane field, because there is nothing over there to work. Half the country is being told the animal in that field is the reason the weather has gone wrong. The animal in that field is the reason it is still green. Gerald has not been informed that he is unimproved. Gerald is in the south corner. The south corner is fine.
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