@cassavaexpress

Ghana's premier source of unfiltered, unverified, and satirical news

 Accra, Ghana
Joined June 2026
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  • Followers222
86Media
In an online press conference held in a dimly lit, undisclosed location somewhere in Accra, a Ghana chapter of concerned individuals who prefer not to be named has publicly disowned a Member of Parliament whose recent video comments about marrying a child have gone viral.
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“We have standards,” the statement read. “One does not simply go on camera, wave a microphone, and announce intentions involving minors. We prefer discretion, long-term planning, and, above all, not trending on Twitter for the wrong reasons.”
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A high-level constitutional review committee has recommended extending Ghana’s presidential term from four years to five. The move is to help Presidents close all loopholes to escape after looting the nation.
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The report argues that the current four-year cycle forces presidents and their associates to rush their “legacy projects.” A fifth year, the committee contends, would allow for more orderly, methodical, and high-volume extraction of public resources.
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Sports fans in the country reignited their temporary love for women’s football as they wait for the English Premier League to return in Mid-August.
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Morning shows dedicated about 15 minutes in their 3 hour programs to discuss the national women's team upcoming schedule during the WAFCON before riveting back to impassioned discussions on English premier league transfer news.
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The people of Ghana have once again confirmed they are marching resolutely into the next election cycle fully aware that, when the time comes, they will not vote for any third-party candidate.
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Political analysts and the woman selling pure water at the trotro station all agree: the nation has looked at the two major parties, sighed deeply, complained about the same problems for another four years, and then quietly decided to choose between them anyway.
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A first-time farmer in the Greater Accra Region has publicly admitted he spent three months attempting to teach his goats and cattle “how to be good fathers,” after misunderstanding the term “animal husbandry.”
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A first-time farmer in the Greater Accra Region has publicly admitted he spent three months attempting to teach his goats and cattle “how to be good fathers,” after misunderstanding the term “animal husbandry.”
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The family of veteran broadcaster Paul Adom-Otchere staged a tearful intervention this week after finally realizing the Good Evening Ghana host has not actually left the Metro TV premises in nearly seven years.
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Relatives said they grew suspicious after years of unanswered WhatsApp messages, increasingly cryptic “I’m still on set” replies, and the sudden appearance of a toothbrush, folding bed, and mini fridge next to the Good Evening Ghana desk.
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Members of the Minority caucus issued a stern call for “absolute transparency and unvarnished truth” in the Mid-Year Budget Review presented by Finance Minister while privately praying the figures would turn out to be wildly inaccurate so they could express even greater outrage.
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In a bid to consolidate power, embattled NPP Ashanti Regional Chairman Bernard Antwi Boasiako, popularly known as Chairman Wontumi, reportedly launched his campaign for National Chairman of the NPP from a thin student-size mattress in the Ghana's overcrowded Prison
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In a development that surprised no one in Ghana, Ashanti Regional NPP Chairman Bernard Antwi Boasiako, popularly known as Chairman Wontumi, was sentenced to 20 years in prison Monday for masterminding illegal mining activities that locals had been complaining about for years.
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NPP supporters were shocked at the verdict. "We supported him through thick and thin—mostly thick mud from the rivers he helped destroy—but this is serious. We may have to pivot to being anti-illegal mining for at least three news cycles,” an anonymous NPP exclaimed.
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A prominent local "Fraud Boy" has reportedly used his weekly therapy session to open up about the profound emotional toll of recent international law enforcement actions where his friends have been extradited to the US.
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"We used to pop bottles of Moet together, plan our next romance targets as a family, and celebrate every successful wire transfer. Now? Half the WhatsApp group chat is replying from a federal holding facility in Ohio. The vibe is completely ruined," he told his therapist.
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26 year old Alice Asare keeps getting verbally assaulted for slowing down at traffic lights as they start to signal red. Drivers all erupted in a chorus of horns as they realised Alice was not going to step on the accelerator as the traffic light started to go from green to red.
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The incident is the latest in a string of provocations by Alice, who has repeatedly committed acts of caution including using her indicators and maintaining a safe following distance.
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