captain maher (@captainmaher) header
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Los Angeles, CA
Joined August 2012
Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)Photo by captain maher (@captainmaher)
Adam: Did you just- Eve: Yeah. My bad. Adam: We'll figure it out. Eve: YOLO. Adam: YES WELL OBVIOUSLY NOW
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captain maher retweeted
He ABSOLUTELY wants them shooting into those cars. Nothing he has ever said or done would even give us a moment’s pause in reaching that conclusion.
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Trump in March: Kimberly Guilfoyle has been my friend for a long time. I love calling her Kimberlay. That’s my little pet name, right? But you are the greatest... Trump today: She was not a member of my family. I guess she dated my son a long time ago.
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captain maher retweeted
Hegseth: "Today, at my direction, I'm establishing the Office of Religious Affairs. It will report straight to the top -- a direct line to the secretary ... as Psalm 33:12 extolls us, blessed is the nation in which God is the Lord"
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captain maher retweeted
58 Dead. 58.
Trump's DHS Secretary, following the 58th death in ICE custody: "What we do at Homeland Security is not controversial"
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Karen Bass’s LAPD is openly defying a judge’s order to turn over LAPD moonlighting documents. I believe these records will show LAPD officers are working for ICE contractors.
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captain maher retweeted
if you tried pulling this shit at a bank they’d arrest you for elder abuse but they let it happen in congress.
Republicans have to instruct Mitch McConnell to vote "yes" on a bill after he nearly votes "no" with Democrats
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Adam: Did you just- Eve: Yeah. My bad. Adam: We'll figure it out. Eve: YOLO. Adam: YES WELL OBVIOUSLY NOW
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captain maher retweeted
Hasan Piker: “All of these Fox News guys are like I can’t believe this is what Graham Platner was doing. Pete Hegseth was literally your co-worker and was a notorious drunk rapist. I feel like I’m losing my mind, the standards are so out of wack. We just never look at Republicans. They can do whatever the fuck they want. They can literally murder, cheat, steal, rape”
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Bryce Mitchell on Trump's White House UFC fight: Our government is desecrating its role in society by entertaining sports. Our government is to protect and serve the people. Our tax dollars and resources are funding this operation. The government is supposed to protect us, not entertain us.
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captain maher retweeted
Jon Stewart on Trump’s corrupt slush find: “This is fuckin’ our money! Do we even have a Congress? It’s all Orwell, it’s all a fuck you troll. His entire career is a troll. They’re gonna give it to people that sprayed mace at police officers and pretend they’re rewarding patriotism”
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🚨 Right Wing Host SPEECHLESS over Trump FAILURES
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Kevin O’Leary says Gen Z is financially cooked when people making $70K a year are spending $28 on lunch
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captain maher retweeted
Trump just got exposed for running the biggest insider trading operation in American history. Nancy Pelosi traded $5 million in stocks and Congress lost its mind. Trump literally executed $750 MILLION worth of stock trades in ONE quarter while being President. His ethics filing just dropped and the numbers are genuinely unprecedented in history: Between January and March 2026, Donald Trump personally executed 3,700 individual stock transactions worth between $220 million and $750 million. That's roughly 60 trades PER DAY. While signing executive orders, meeting foreign leaders, and making policy decisions that directly impact the companies he's buying and selling. Now here's where it gets really insane: On February 10, Trump bought between $1 million and $5 million worth of Dell stock. Three months later, on May 8, he stood at a Mother's Day event at the White House, thanked Michael Dell by name, and told Americans to "go out and buy a Dell." Dell stock surged 14.6% that day to an all-time high of $263.99. Since Trump's February purchase, Dell is up 96%. And 5 months BEFORE Trump bought Dell stock, Michael and Susan Dell donated $6.25 billion to Trump Accounts, one of the largest philanthropic commitments to a sitting president's signature program in modern history. So the timeline goes: Dell donates $6.25 billion to Trump's program -> Trump buys Dell stock ->Trump tells America to buy Dell from the White House podium -> Stock hits all-time high And that's just ONE stock... The same filing shows Trump bought Nvidia stock on February 10. One week later, Nvidia announced a massive chip deal with Meta. He bought more Nvidia stock one week BEFORE his own Commerce Department approved the sale of Nvidia chips to Saudi Arabia. He bought Intel stock starting in March 2026. The US government already owned a 9.9% stake in Intel worth over $41 billion. On April 30, Trump posted on Truth Social praising Intel, writing that "Intel Stock continues to rise." Intel jumped 3% in after-hours and is now up 140% year-to-date. He bought Palantir stock while his administration was actively handing them billion-dollar government contracts for immigration enforcement and defense. He bought Robinhood stock while his own Trump Accounts program uses Robinhood as the broker. He's currently sitting on over 100% profit on AMD, Intel, Bloom Energy, Marvell Technology, and at least 10 other positions. Every single president since Lyndon B. Johnson has used a blind trust to avoid exactly this situation. But Trump didn't. His assets sit in a trust controlled by his own children, and the filings show a broker acted as agent on several trades. The White House says the portfolio is "independently managed." But here's what independently managed looks like: Buy Dell stock. Three months later, publicly endorse Dell from the White House. Stock hits all-time high. Buy Nvidia stock. One week later, your own government approves their chip sales. Stock rips. Buy Intel stock. Post about Intel on Truth Social. Stock jumps. The government you run already owns a 10% stake. Buy Palantir. Hand them contracts. Buy Robinhood. Route a federal program through their platform. Nancy Pelosi got absolutely destroyed for her husband's stock trades. Her husband's total disclosed trades in his most controversial year were worth roughly $5 million. Trump just disclosed up to $750 MILLION in a single quarter. While making the actual policy decisions that move these stocks. This isn't a left or right issue. We're talking about the President of the United States averaging 60 stock trades per day in companies his own administration regulates, contracts with, and publicly endorses. What do you think?
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captain maher retweeted
You could start by walking down the hall. See why your boss keeps pardoning people convicted of money laundering, wire fraud, tax evasion, and securities fraud.
Vance: There is a simple principle I have: If you are committing fraud against the American people you ought to go to prison. If you are a public official not fighting against fraud, you ought to have your money taken away because you should not be able to steal from all of you and give it to fraudsters.
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Trump admits he bypassed federal bidding laws to hand a Lincoln Memorial project to his personal country club contractors. He treats national monuments like his own private real estate properties. The corruption inside the White House is absolutely staggering.
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captain maher retweeted
This will blow your fucking mind!!!!!
.@ben_mckenzie on how crypto helps criminals and hostile states evade sanctions — and how Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick profits from it. #theweeklyshow #jonstewart #politics
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Sen. John Kennedy admits on Fox News that the Republicans and Democrats reached a deal to fund TSA, but Trump said, “No. No deals with the Democrats.” Kennedy says, “It would have worked. We could have had TSA paid by the end of the week.” This is the Trump shutdown!
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