Caedmon

Yesterday was a strange day. I started my morning listening to a relationship "expert" explain how trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship. He talked about communication, emotional safety, vulnerability, and how fear destroys connection between people. A few minutes later, he mentioned that children sometimes need a good spanking. Then I was on X, and a men's coach was talking about cutting toxic people out of his life who constantly are yelling at him and trying to manipulate him. Then he was trying to explain that it's not really screaming when directed at children, and that manipulation is sometimes allowed because of "family." That was odd. Later I heard a therapist talking about how many adults spend years healing from shame, anxiety, low self-worth, and fear that originated in childhood. In the next breath, she defended punishments designed specifically to make children feel ashamed of their behavior. That felt even stranger. Then I listened to a leadership podcast. The host explained that the best leaders don't rely on force, intimidation, or coercion. Great leaders inspire. They build trust. They create buy-in. They never demand obedience. They earn it through admiration. The comments were full of dads talking about how sometimes it's good to force their children to do what is best for the family. By this point, I was beginning to wonder if I had accidentally entered an alternate reality. On the way home, I came across a Christian pastor talking about grace, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, and unconditional love. He spoke beautifully about how every human being is made in the image of God and deserves dignity and respect. A few minutes later, he defended physically punishing children to prevent them from becoming spoiled. Somehow the image of God was sacred right up until it spilled a glass of milk. Finally, I ended my day by listening to a podcast where a man explained why a government that is too big is dangerous. He talked about freedom, liberty, self-ownership, and the importance of not using force to make peaceful people comply with laws and mandates. An hour later, he was defending the use of force to get his children to comply because he couldn't reason with them and it was for their own good. That's when it hit me. People don't actually have principles. They have these weird categories they follow based on tradition and superstition that they never question. Respect for adults, but control for children. Consent for equals, but force for dependents. Freedom for grown-ups, but tyranny for children. A husband should never be hit. An employee should never be hit. A dog should never be hit. But somehow a child must be hit. A marriage requires trust. Friendships require trust. Teams require trust. But children need to learn trust through fear. The world spends billions teaching adults about communication, emotional regulation, psychological safety, trauma, and nonviolence. Then it walks into the nursery and forgets everything it just learned. Sometimes I think the most dangerous beliefs aren't the ones that sound crazy. They're the ones we've accepted for so long that questioning them feels more offensive than the behavior itself. The people least capable of defending themselves receive the fewest protections, while the people with the most power write themselves endless exceptions.