Bob Cobb

Screenplay idea: 3 librarians adopt a hostile kangeroo that plays harmonica

Look man, alls I'm saying is we have a lot in common with spiders like symmetry.

Sorry I mistook your child for the Geico caveman.

I haven't had an inspired tweet in almost 16 years.

When I was your age people were always telling me I was "grody to the max" because I was very popular.

There's is a petting zoo about a mile across the woods from me and sometimes at night I hear a donkey braying and it scares the hell out of me.

"The future belongs to the past", passes joint.

All Day Idiots Do Assholeish Shit

My favorite song to sing at karaoke is the Rolling Stones' Miss You just because I like "what's the matta with chew boy?"

I smell mustard, the tears of the corndog.

My first and last day as a tour bus guide: "and to your left is Bed Bath & Beyond which is Korean for 'muffled fart'"

I don't know why this just popped into my head but I have always thought the Porsche 944 was one of the coolest looking cars ever made.

In 1987, Burt Smucker invented jelly.

Sorry I said you have the IQ of a fungus.

Someone asked Jimi Hendrix how it felt to be the best guitarist in the world and he said he didn't know you have to ask Bob Cobb.

This acid rain has got me tripping.

This year for Christmas everyone's getting cat toys that my cats no longer play with.

Probably the only thing Tom Jones and I have in common is women throw their panties at us.

The plural of house is hice.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK! I said ARE YOU REEADY TO ROCK AND ROLL!!!! :plays John Waite-Missing You: