ALT each side proves impossible to describe, even with the recording playing where it did in my mind. the folds eventually hit at a moment of impossible coupling but i can never find the drop off, of history, maybe because it's so fucking terrifying. but then at some point the petals start to gather upwards, they start to "know" history, which is to mean their own terror. i focus, the rose comes back, i come inside of it. in the simulation we can only present it as either wet or not wet, i can't stop once in this state. it wasn't that it's rare, i never came as a result of rarity but instead of being overwhelmed, by placing myself in a position where i know i can't escape.