food goes here.

Joined March 2013
Will Levis suddenly that quarterback from the movie Draft Day?
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I was brought in to punch ups on he 2017 NFL Script and it may surprise people to know how much of it is ad libbed. I mean they stick to the outline, but Roger Goodell really gives them the space to experiment.
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Every time Kelce opens his yap I remind myself this is the same jabroni who starred in his own dating reality show
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When “The Refs,” “Horrible,” “NFL Rigged,” and “#NFLRigged” are all trending at the same, it’s probably not a good thing.
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People acting like because media says man that joe burrow is really good and his team lost means they got the cards to say he sucks and I don’t see it.
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This video is so horrible it's almost art. Like when a friend of mine dropped his camera and the resulting pictures resulted in his most successful gallery show.
I’m sorry. That’s it. I’ve had it with Dak.
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Tell me you are the swamp without telling me you are the swamp.
Let me be very clear—Republicans will use the power of the purse and the power of the subpoena to hold the swamp accountable.
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Christmas. The one time of year we all pretend that white chocolate isn’t disgusting.
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Did you know? When Bill Clinton banned assault weapons in 1994, mass shootings dropped by 43%. After George W. Bush and the GOP let the assault weapons ban expire in 2004, mass shootings increased by 245%. — These numbers tell a story.
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When your wife wakes up from a dream where you were supporting an expansion of the patriarchy
I can’t fathom the depth and creation of the universe or the brass it takes to make a $44 billion acquisition and then make it up as I go.
Going forward, accounts engaged in parody must include “parody” in their name, not just in bio
Job #1875 I would fail miserably at.
Watching the "Stick Man" at hockey games is so insane. He touches the stick of whoever has the puck.
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Feeling good today.
"You really be throwing dimes." Nobody plays cool and confident like @JoeyB. 😎
rob bloom retweeted
"You really be throwing dimes." Nobody plays cool and confident like @JoeyB. 😎
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When requesting a meeting there are two kinds of people, those who see one available half-hour in your bricked calendar and think, "nope, not going to do that to them" and monsters.
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The day a kicker emerges that can make a 64 yard kick so reliably that you run down the clock to take one, the NFL will be forever changed. And that kicker will make insane money. It seems crazy and we even live in the @MattPrater_5 times. #mnf
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Republicans this week: democrats don't understand the hardships of retail fashion and the working man's deep hunger for affordable crudite.
In this live interview just last Friday, it appears that the @BoHines kiddo, Republican running for Congress in #NC13, does not understand what a "banana republic" is. He honestly thinks everyone's referring to the clothing retail chain. Didn't he go to Yale? 😬🤔 #ncpol
In this live interview just last Friday, it appears that the @BoHines kiddo, Republican running for Congress in #NC13, does not understand what a "banana republic" is. He honestly thinks everyone's referring to the clothing retail chain. Didn't he go to Yale? 😬🤔 #ncpol
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"Hey, you're doing just great" Oklahoma little leaguer gets hit in the head and then comforts the pitcher who is shaken up afterward
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Exclusive photo Trump’s safe the fbi raided.
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