writer leatherdýke
Joined March 2018
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Opposition to non-consensual surgery on intersex kids is a core part of the fight for bodily autonomy for everyone—I’m sorry your trauma over this violation made you feel this way, but trans surgeries consensually chosen are an unalloyed good and should be easily accessible.
I strongly believe it’s good to be around people that are not like you and who you are not attracted to and that this makes communities better! Lesbian has not meant “refusing any community with men” except in its most toxic separatist and anti-trans iterations.
unavailable
Like obviously no one should make anyone do anything, I just think the common instinct within queerness to silo ourselves within identity just isolates us and brings out our worst group tendencies—difference is, in my experience, healthy and generative.
Fondly remembering the first “trans affirming” therapist I had, an any/all pronouns cis woman who, when I brought up the steps I needed to take to access certain surgeries, immediately went into a spiel about how not wanting bottom surgery is totally valid and my body is perfect.
To be clear, I didn’t bring up feeling any sort of pressure to get surgeries or even the slightest bit of internal conflict! But her and a culture full of people like her is certainly the reason I delayed following up on certain things against my own best interest for years.
Everything “queer” would be better if there was more straightforward integration of lesbian and gay community and spaces. It’s like that scene in A Bug’s Life: “Those puny little ants outnumber us a hundred to one. And if they ever figure that out, there goes our way of life!”
cozy retweeted
im sorry but someone calling people "level 1 gays" when their understanding appears to have come straight from instagram infographics/HR departments is REALLY funny. like do u think u understand things because you learned about the genderbread person?????
What people miss about the way transmisogyny works is that when a trans woman is degendered, she isn’t treated like a cis man—she is third gendered into a predatory monster deserving of any violence you send her way. This is why “do not assume gender” falls flat.
The most kind ethos is treating people as they present with the signals they’re giving (including nonbinary people, some of you are giving they/them!) until they tell you otherwise, which doesn’t constantly single out the most vulnerable of us. It will be right 99.9% of the time.
Stone Butch Blues is an interesting and revealing text about a specific moment in queer history that ironically demonstrates the historically rooted materially transmisogynistic origins of these identity formations quite vividly even though that wasn’t Feinberg’s intention!
Many people seem to think nostalgia for identity formations and community that came out of the need for survival during a time of intense repression, poverty, and cisheteropatriarchal violence is transgressive! I used to think this too, but then I got older and kept reading.