Dr. B.M.W.

I found out my husband had been telling his friends he only stayed married to me because divorce was too expensive. And the crazy part? He still came home every night, kissed my forehead and called me baby. I'm 27, he's 36. We've been married for three years. From the outside, we look like one of those couples that have figured marriage out. He pays his share of the bills, comes home every evening and never misses family functions. But inside our house, I'm basically a roommate with a wedding ring. He doesn't ask about my day. He never plans dates. If I dress up, he asks where I'm going. If I ask for affection, he says I'm becoming needy. Last month, I told him I missed being loved by him. He looked at me and said, “I'm still here, aren't I? What more do you want?” I didn't know how to explain that having a husband physically present isn't the same as having a husband who actually wants you. Then last Friday, I went to pick up his laptop charger from his office. His colleagues were having lunch, and I heard one of them jokingly ask him, “Bro, when are you finally going to leave that marriage?” My husband laughed. Then he said, “Leave and start dividing properties? I'm comfortable. She doesn't disturb me too much, and the house runs itself.” I stood behind the door. Another colleague asked, “But do you even love her?” He took a sip of his drink and replied, “She's a good woman. I just don't feel anything anymore.” I went home without the charger. That evening, he came home, kissed my forehead and asked what we were having for dinner. I looked at him and asked, “Are you happy being married to me?” He said, “Why do women always need reassurance?” I didn't argue. I simply stopped doing all the little things that made his life comfortable. No more preparing his clothes. No more reminding him about appointments. No more cancelling my plans because he wanted company. Three days later, he confronted me. He said I had become cold and that I was deliberately making the house uncomfortable. I asked him, “If my presence is enough to keep this marriage alive, why is my effort suddenly so important when I withdraw it?” He had no answer. But yesterday, he told his mother I was becoming disrespectful. And she called me to ask what I had done to make her son unhappy. I told her exactly what he said at the office. There was a long silence. Then she said something I wasn't expecting.............