@beavermaxx

post shit and chew gum https://xitter.cf/t.co/07F7K7hFnJ

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Joined May 2025
  • Tweets5.4K
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  • Followers5.1K
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went to a pool for the first time in years and remembered i’m not fat anymore
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i can’t do nathan
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you don’t get it bro you’re supposed to turn your brain off bro it’s for fun bro it’s for the dads bro just turn your brain off bro the 20% rotten tomatoes just means it’s peak man the critics don’t know anything
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gonna shave u bald and stir fry u with some onions and garlic later, maybe some carrots and broccoli
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wake me up when this guy gets on death battle
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i’m ready to be a funcle 🙏🙏 take my coworker while you’re at it 🙏🙏🙏
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coworker on aux is playing nothing but country music about cheating on your lover
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Readers added context they thought people might want to know
original post instagram.com/reel/DedeyX6TP…
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new south park episode had its moments but holy shit someone in the writing room is lowkey a pedophile
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joke didn’t land the first time, didn’t land for the 20th time either.
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how many holiday creamy vanilla coke zeroes can i stick up my butt
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give it to me straight doc, what’s in the ball sack?
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the concept of a blue alert
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how it feels to go outside
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my cat just gave me belt to ass
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tried making money on whatsapp and accidentally selected poop rocket instead of free money fml
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when someone asks what was one of the hardest things about quitting weed and i say the dreams of people killing me or me killing people
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i know i’ve been joking about the state of these dreams having stepped away from weed but holy shit dude the cluster of these dreams i had last night left me deeply disturbed. i haven’t been thinking about anything else all morning.
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more replies
i refuse to believe that my subconscious is this disturbed 🫩
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maybe i’ll make a thread detailing the horrific scenarios i’ve been thrown in these dreams. but a big part of me wants to turn this into inspiration for more horror to write. for now turkey leg cat to calm my nerves.
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