@beards4fears
 Michigan, USA
Joined November 2011
  • Tweets1.4K
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  • Followers63
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20’s: Bong rip, shot, chug beer, exhale. 30’s: Vape, Paxil, slam coffee, exhale. Maturity.
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Starting a new job in a new city has so much unexpected perks. The first and foremost is the probability of me hearing the phrase “Busch latte” daily goes down dramatically.
At 36 I am at the crossroads of whether or not it is a good idea to date or marry a woman named Tammy. Confusing times.
My general attitude toward the world right now, I don’t even like pineapple on pizza, socks with sandals, I just want to watch the world burn.
George Wallace
@MrGeorgeWallace30 Aug 2021
I'll straight up eat peas while wearin' a beanie and beans while wearin' a peacoat I really don't give a shit anymore.
Drunk thoughts: Boys are not smart enough to play MASH.
Anyone: “How many pedals, guitars, and amps do you need?” Me: “A. Enough to warrant a second music room. B. How dare you.”
You ever have one of those days where you don’t wish death on yourself but you are also eating a disturbing amount of guac and queso? No reason.
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Beards4fears retweeted
R. Eric Thomas@oureric20 Jan 2021
Bernie is your uncle who walks into your graduation dinner, hands you a check he just ripped out of his checkbook, no card, and asks the waiter where the nearest UPS Dropbox is because he needs to return something while he’s out.
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Megan Amram
@meganamram8 Jan 2021
Today was the day Donald trump finally became president
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3D ultrasounds are creepy and every baby looks like Kuato from Total Recall.
Rep. Clyburn so ready for this week to be over. 😂😂. Election Day he was on MSNBC glowing! 2 days later he done snatched down the lights and signs , switched to the laptop camera, and put on the grey sweats. 😂😂
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If I die from COVID-19 I’m haunting every Trump voter.
I thought I would have a career before “Stinkfinger” was considered classic rock...I got to get a move on.
So... you mean to tell us you could‘ve done this the whole time?
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Too early to say that anyone exposed to COVID-19 by contact with trump is entitled to compensation benefits from exposure to agent Orange?
Today, in tweets that didn’t age well.
Jemele Hill
@jemelehill28 Sep 2020
Beards4fears retweeted
Al Green
@algreen2 Sep 2020
who did this? 😂
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Jemele Hill
@jemelehill27 Aug 2020
The NBA season is going to be cancelled because of racism, not COVID. Think about that.
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If I die from COVID, paint my face like the joker and write “HAHA Who’s Laughing now!” On my clothes, place my body in front of the Gratiot County Sheriff’s Office, this is my dying wish.
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For the people in the back!!!!
ian karmel@IanKarmel20 Jun 2020
Replying to @IanKarmel
What do you think these women and men are getting out of this, other than a swarm of angry, insecure locusts descending on their lives? A final salvo of hell after already going through so much, just so they can feel some sense of justice and protect others. That’s what they get.
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