@bburfee
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Build hard, live harder — you only get one life. I tweet about both.
New Delhi, India
Joined April 2019
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To everyone saying get a dog your life will change- please don’t! Like any other relationship- you’ve to invest yourself into it, nurture it, invest in it and it gives you back. Without any of this, not only would you not have any positive impact of the pet, most likely the pet is going to be unhappy with you as well!
One thing that's genuinely worked for me- loving my kid unconditionally, especially when they're struggling. falling behind, mentally exhausted, wayward, whatever it is.
Not judging them, just making sure they know you love them no matter what. that's what brings them closer to you. that's what actually opens the door to talk to them and slowly get them back on track.
One thing i keep noticing — over involved parents. either mom's not working or dad's a stay at home parent, and somehow the kid becomes the entire universe. fighting every small battle for them, getting involved in trivial stuff, never letting the kid figure things out on their own.
End result — you're raising a kid who won't know how to handle the world when you're not around to fight for them.
I get it, you have the time. but not everything that has time available needs to be filled with involvement. overwater a plant and you kill it too.
People love blaming Delhi/NCR or north indians for being street smart, unethical, always negotiating, never giving an inch.
Wait till you do business (which I do) with traditional gujaratis — ahmedabad, surat — and especially old school textile players. money is the only language. no relationship no brotherhood, nothing personal. as a newbie it's brutal to break in.
Biggest bubble upper income metro folks live in — they think the whole country changed as fast as their friend circle did.
They think nobody wants indian food anymore, everyone's into asian cuisine. nobody wants engineering or IIT, everyone wants "alternate careers." health conscious now so every gym is a goldmine.
IB is the future, CBSE is dying. private jobs only, govt job is passe. arranged marriage is dead, everyone's doing love marriage.
that's like 2% of india. your building, your kid's school, your instagram feed.
Go outside gurgaon and delhi and bombay for a week and you'll realize almost none of this actually changed for most indians.
1. Can we talk about bully moms. Not bully kids. Bully MOMS- Affluent schools, metro cities, moms with a lot of time on their hands, often not working — and somehow that free time turns into full time surveillance of the class
2. Here's the pattern. Two kids get into a normal argument. The kind kids have and forget about in twenty minutes. Except the moms don't let it end there.
3. Suddenly there's a group forming. Back channeling with the school. Gossip doing the rounds. And somehow within a day, everyone's "concerned" about your kid.
4. And here's the part that actually gets me — no one has any proof of anything. No real incident, no real complaint. Just vibes and gossip dressed up as concern.
5. But the damage is real. Suddenly your kid isn't getting invited to birthday parties. Suddenly he's sidelined. Not because of anything he did — because his mother didn't fight back in the group chat fast enough.
6. So here's the uncomfortable truth nobody says out loud: it's not the kids who are the bullies anymore. It's the mothers.
7. And the worst part — you can't even call it out directly, because it's never one person, it's never one message. It's just a slow, coordinated sidelining with everyone's hands clean.
1. Can we talk about bully moms. Not bully kids. Bully MOMS- Affluent schools, metro cities, moms with a lot of time on their hands, often not working — and somehow that free time turns into full time surveillance of the class
2. Here's the pattern. Two kids get into a normal argument. The kind kids have and forget about in twenty minutes. Except the moms don't let it end there.
3. Suddenly there's a group forming. Back channeling with the school. Gossip doing the rounds. And somehow within a day, everyone's "concerned" about your kid.
4. And here's the part that actually gets me — no one has any proof of anything. No real incident, no real complaint. Just vibes and gossip dressed up as concern.
5. But the damage is real. Suddenly your kid isn't getting invited to birthday parties. Suddenly he's sidelined. Not because of anything he did — because his mother didn't fight back in the group chat fast enough.
6. So here's the uncomfortable truth nobody says out loud: it's not the kids who are the bullies anymore. It's the mothers.
7. And the worst part — you can't even call it out directly, because it's never one person, it's never one message. It's just a slow, coordinated sidelining with everyone's hands clean.
A lot of things that we criticised or found old fashioned or found narrow minded of our parents, we start doing those ourselves. These are the ten for me-
1. Start believing home made recipes for cold/cough are better than meds.
2. How home food is so much better than outside food.
3. How your spouse is probably the only one who’s going to stand by your side.
4. How important is to have one’s own house.
5. Comfortable clothes>>>> fashionable clothes.
6. How showing kids ‘abundance’ early on in life ‘hurts’.
7. How ‘ worshiping’ gets you calmness and purpose
8. Why keeping family relationships and bonding is so important
9. How getting up early and sleeping in time is the biggest hack to life
10. How memories aren’t necessarily linked to business class and star hotels
11. Why celebrating even the smallest festivals is important
One of the biggest reality checks as a middle aged person (say 40+) is what our movies- mostly Hindi but also English tend to so misrepresent- Life doesn’t end with you taking the victory lap at the end of it all, life doesn’t automatically make you a hero after all hardships.
While it’s a good motivation to continue the grind, but the fact is life is here and now & may not exist tomorrow. And even if it may exist tomorrow, you may not be the hero that you always imagined you’d become at the end of it.
So what’s helped me is to - embrace the present and count your blessing- because life is indeed fickle!
This is something that atleast I have felt- A vast majority of people that you meet in your day to day life who start from becoming acquaintances to ‘friends’.
I have almost always felt that there is a common theme on who all end up being atleast close friends- they are the people that don’t think twice on inviting you over, offering to pay for coffee/meal, offering to socialise, offering to lend help (spl when it costs some money).
I feel the quantum of money involved may not be much, but there are so many out there who shrug spending a ‘dime’ on an acquaintance and seem to mostly optimise ‘at that moment’ friendship and nothing else.
Somehow can’t get too close or even call them ‘friends’. They will come at your house/parties and be close but the moment there is an opportunity to spend- they’d quietly take a backseat.
2. Fabric cost is quite significantly impacted by crude oil prices, and the cost of dyes/chemicals has gone up significantly. This alone is two-thirds of the price and has risen significantly.
3. Brands have to pay fair prices to factories for their labor.
4. Brands have supply chain visibility all the way to the bottom, to figure out whether a factory is really exploiting its workers and pocketing more money, or offering cheaper clothes while others aren’t.
