need like six months where no one expects anything from me

posting on x has opened up a lot of doors for me in life, but the most important thing it ever did was put you and i together, forever

Some patterns I noticed after looking through a ton of patient files the last week — Every sick male patient I’ve worked with in the last year has one or all of the following same beliefs / personality traits and body states - (I tend to do a core beliefs / habits / personality intake before I look at any labs or physical aspects of an illness) : 1) That they are “behind” in something : they aren’t where they should be / or that they missed the boat that others seemingly caught (that time has a finish line and they are running out of time to prove they are good enough) 2) Tendencies to people please, usually stemming from performing/performative behaviors around a mother or father as a means to stay safe or accepted via keeping the peace/not making waves - now a coping strategy into adulthood that is no longer working (if I can be useful I won’t be lost/left behind/abandoned) 3) Too hard on self (internalized criticism, usually stemming from another person and that persons voice becomes their own inner voice) 4) Strong shame or guilt aspects including inner dialogues that are judgmental of themself 5) Living in a functional freeze state (most common I see, when fight or flight fail /weren’t possible in youth) 6) They are living in long term touch & connection deficits There are many others but these show up so often for me that I thought I’d share. The labs I might want them to run tell me what in the body broke as a means to get their attention because it was affected by a pattern, but this pattern and belief intake is the why it broke and should be addressed. Here are what these 6 most common I see in general teach us / could do to us : Behind: Core belief: “I do not have inherent worth. My value depends on what I produce or achieve.” Nervous system: Chronic HPA axis activation. The body lives in a low grade threat, constantly assessing whether it has done enough to justify its existence. Somatic consequences here: Chronic fatigue, immune suppression, metabolic dysregulation, hormonal depletion, accelerated aging. Literature says here: High competence dependent self esteem correlates specifically with cardiac and exhaustive disease patterns including burnout states. Low self esteem predicts physiological dysregulation under stress and suppressed immune markers. People pleasing: Core belief: “My existence is a burden. I am only safe when I am useful to others.” Nervous system: Sustained sympathetic hypervigilance wrapped up in a parasympathetic state. The body monitors others emotional states constantly while suppressing its own emotional state. This is the fawn response, a trauma adaptation that keeps the nervous system perpetually on alert even while appearing calm. Somatic consequences here: Chronic muscle tension particularly in the jaw and shoulders, digestive dysregulation, disrupted gut microbiome, sleep disruption, a vigilance that does not switch off at the end of the day. Literature says about this state: Chronic people pleasing keeps the nervous system in sustained hypervigilance. Suppressed anger and chronic stress states and absolutely *destroy* the gut microbiome and reduce serotonin production, which means the nervous system loses the biochemistry needed to set a boundary. (much goes down in a body that didn’t express itself.)