Autistic, PDA, parent, advocate
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ALT Can Social Skills Ever Be Neuro-Affirming? Column 1: WHAT THEY USUALLY DO: Shame ND ways of thinking, feeling, playing, and socializing; Frame NT ways as the right way and ND ways as the wrong way; Target ND kids; Aim to assimilate ND kids into neuronormative culture; Tell ND people they have to do this in order to make and keep friends; Train people to worry more about what others think of them than their own wants and needs; Teach masking; Set ND folks up to now know what real friendship is and get taken advantage of. Column 2: WHAT THEY COULD DO: Validate ND ways of thinking, feeling, playing, and socializing; Frame ND ways and NT ways as equally valid; Teach both NT and ND kids about each other; Present it as an optional way to more safely navigate neuronormative culture; Tell ND people that true friends will like them for who they are; Promote self-acceptance and self-advocacy skills; Teach ABOUT masking and the risks that come with it; Help ND folks spot the difference between re
ALT A 4 panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A yellow/gold adult stands at a kitchen island as a pink/magenta teenager enters the room wearing a green backpack. Yellow/Gold asks, “Hey, how was your first school day with ADHD meds?” Pink/Magenta replies, “Sorry to disappoint, but I didn’t feel anything different. I guess they just don’t work for me.” 2: Yellow/Gold says, “Aw, bummer. I’ve heard it can be life changing, I was hoping you could get some relief.” Pink/Magenta, now holding the backpack, says, “Yeah, no, I got nothin’.” 3: Pink/Magenta smiles and says, “In other news, we got easy work all day, my teachers were a lot nicer to me, and the other kids were way less annoying than usual, so it was still a good day.” Yellow/Gold looks back with raised eyebrows. The backpack is now on the counter. 4: Pink/Magenta, while rubbing their chin with a pensive look, says, “Like, a WEIRDLY good day.” Yellow/Gold, with narrowed eyes and a knowing smile, says, “Hmm, yeah, so weird.”
ALT A 4 panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A green adult says to a light blue/blue child, “I’m sorry, you’ve used up all your screen time for the day.” The child looks angry and replies, “Well if you don’t give me screens right now I’m gonna break all your stuff!” 2: The adult stands with hands on hips and says to the child, “Excuse me?! Making threats to get what you want is completely unacceptable! Wherever did you learn such a thing??” 3: Close up of the child surrounded by four thought bubbles containing memories of things that were said to them: 1. If you keep throwing that ball in the house I’m going to take it away. 2. If you don’t clean your room you’re not going to that party this weekend. 3. If you keep acting up then I’m going to send you to the principal’s office. 4. If you don’t finish all your work then you don’t get recess. 4: The child asks the adult, “Is that a real question?” The adult looks like they’ve been called out.
ALT 4 panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A white box at the top reads, “FIRST…” Three figures sit behind a long desk with a sign that reads “School Standards People” on it. Person in the middle says, “They’re gonna have to know how to write essays in college, so we should prepare them by teaching it in high school.” 2: White box at the top: THEN… Person in the middle: They’re gonna have to know how to write essays in high school, so we should prepare them by teaching it in middle school. 3: White box at the top: NOW… Person in the middle: They’re gonna have to know how to write essays in middle school, so we should prepare them by teaching it in elementary school. 4: White box at the top: COMING SOON… Person in the middle: They’re gonna have to know how to write essays in elementary school, so we should prepare them by teaching it in pre-school. Person on the right: Uhh, most of the can’t even spell yet. Person in the middle: Then they’re behind! They should have prepared for that already!
ALT The words “HAPPY FLAPPY PRIDE MONTH” are colored like the Progress Pride flag, and “Love, Autball” appears just below. Eight Happy Flappy characters encircle the text, and each one is colored like a different Pride flag. From top left: Agender, LGBTQIA+, Nonbinary, Intersex, Pansexual, Bisexual, Transgender, and Asexual.
ALT A 2 panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A white box at the top reads: FAKE COMMUNICATION SUPPORT. A red adult sits at a table with a blue/purple adult and a green/blue child. The red adult says to the other adult, “Communication is so important for reducing frustration and challenging behaviors (which are so hard on the rest of us!), so let’s see what we can do to get them talking.” On the table are only two options: a binder labeled “Speech” and a binder labeled “PECS.” 2: A white box at the top reads: REAL COMMUNICATION SUPPORT. A green adult sits at a table with a blue/purple adult and a green/blue child. The green adult says to the child, “Communication is human right, and you deserve to be heard. We’re gonna try all the respectful methods of communication available to us until we find what works best for you.” On the table are many more options: Picture Cards, Speech, a letterboard, a pen and notepad, Sign Language, and an AAC device.
ALT A two panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A white box at the top reads: FAKE SENSORY DESENSITIZATION. A red adult stands with a green adult and says, “We make them touch stuff they don’t want to over and over again while rewarding them for tolerating it and punishing when they don’t. And eventually, it just doesn’t bother them anymore!” They are watching a teal adult using hand over hand to make a pink/magenta child touch a lumpy pile of pink stuff. The child is looking away with a blank look and thinking, “Dissociating, suppressing distress, no reaction makes it stop sooner…” 2: A white box art the top reads: REAL SENSORY DESENSITIZATION. A Yellow/Green adult is talking to a Red/Orange adult. Y/G: Huh. You know how I’ve ALWAYS had to have something on my feet at all time for years? O/R: Yeah. Y/G: Well suddenly I don’t. O/R: Cool. What’d you do? Y/G: Nothin’. Just happened.
ALT 1: A white box at the top reads: FAKE FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE. One adult says to the other, “So we frustrate them on purpose a bunch, refuse to let them out of the situation, then tell them to breathe and rate the size of their problem while they’re too upset to think straight, until they just get used to feeling frustrated.” Another adult and an ND child are blowing on pinwheels together. The child thinks, “Am I performing ‘calm’ right? Because I feel as frustrated as ever and I really just wanna hit something!” 2: A white box at the top reads: REAL FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE. A different adult is pushing the child in a swing and says, “I’m NOT gonna frustrate you on purpose because I know that dysregulation is cumulative, so that would be counterproductive. As we naturally come across frustrating situations, we’ll figure out your triggers, learn to recognize what it feels like in your body before it’s too big to handle, and find the regulation strategies that work best FOR YOU."
ALT A 2 panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A white box at the top reads: FAKE SELF-REGULATION. A red adult, speaking to a Green adult, says, “We have many different ways of helping them learn to suppress their distress behav- <ahem> I mean, ‘self-regulate.’ There are lots of coping skills we can talk AT them about, we can ignore or punish their outbursts and give rewards when they use a skill, and even seclusion and restraint can teach self-regulation when used properly!” 2: A white box at the top reads: REAL SELF-REGULATION. A Light Blue/Blue adult sits with a Green/Yellow child on a couch and says, “Self-regulation develops naturally out of safe co-regulation with a trusted adult. I’ll model regulation skills myself when I’m dysregulated, and I’ll be there to validate and guide you through your big feelings and hard times, so you can learn through experience how to safely navigate all that stuff.”
ALT A two panel cartoon by Autball. 1: A white box at the top reads: FAKE NEURO-AFFIRMING. A Red figure stands with a Light Blue/Blue figure and says, “Oh no, we don’t target things like eye contact and hand flapping anymore. We know how harmful that can be for individuals with neurodiversity. We even got rid of our puzzle piece stuff! But e still focus on *other* stims, and social skills, and tolerating distress, and sensory desensitization, and…” LB/B looks skeptical. Three ableist posters are on the wall. 2: A white box at the top reads: REAL NEURO-AFFIRMING. A Yellow/Gold figure stands with a Light Blue/Blue figure and says, “We aim to help a person understand how their particular brain and body work, and how to work *with* that instead of against it, and how to accommodate themselves and advocate for their needs in a world not built for them, and basically just make sure they know that it’s okay to be different.” LB/B looks pleased. Three neuro-affirming posters are on the wall.
ALT A bingo card with rainbow colors across the top of the card behind the B-I-N-G-O, 24 white squares, and one rainbow colored square in the middle. A title card reads “Words Commonly Used to Deny Needs BINGO.” BINGO squares contain the following: Resilience; Frustration tolerance; Make yourself a smaller target; School refusal; They just need to learn to…; That’s just part of their <insert diagnosis>; Low-functioning; Self-regulation; We don’t do that here; Prepare them for the real world; You’re smart enough to…; Independence; (Middle space, rainbow colored) FREE INVALIDATION TRAUMA; High-functioning; Attention seeking; Non-preferred activity; Needs better coping skills; You don’t have to let it bother you; Grit; Lack of resources; Fine; Self-soothe; Tantrum; Oppositional Defiance Disorder; Doesn’t meet criteria.
ALT 1: Two ND figures (one Green/Blue and one Red/Orange) sit at a picnic table. A yellow figure holds a large bowl of potato salad. G/B: Oh, no thanks, I don’t like raisins in potato salad. 2: Same scene, but Yellow is gone. R/O: Babe, you can’t just say you don’t like it. G/B: Why not? It’s the truth. And how will they know for next time if I don’t tell them? R/O: No, I get it, it’s just… 3: SS. R/O: They assume you must hate their cooking AND them if you don’t make some kind of excuse that’s not about them. Like, ‘I’m doing keto’ or 'I’m just so full.' Stuff like that. 4: SS. G/B: But that’s a lie. R/O: Yeah, I know. They kinda prefer lies to the truth if it means protecting their feelings. 5: SS. G/B: Hang on. Is this just how your family is about food or how most of the world operates? Because that would actually explain a lot. R/O: Definitely not just my family. 6: A purple figure holds a plate of hot dogs. G/B: Um… Uhhh… no thanks, I don’t...eat dogs? R/O: Maybe your way is better.
ALT Infographic by Autball entitled: IS THAT REALLY NEUTRAL, OR ARE YOU JUST USED TO IT? The first column (over a red background) is headed by black text that reads: So normalized that people *think* they’re neutral but actually NEGATIVE TERMS. This is followed by a list of terms: disorder; deficit; dysfunction; symptom; co-morbidity. The second column (over a yellow background) is headed by black text that reads: Normalized negativity makes people *think* they’re positive but actually NEUTRAL TERMS. This is followed by a list of terms: natural variation; difference; neurodivergence; trait; co-occurring condition. The third column (over a green background) is headed by black text that reads: Sometimes unnecessarily so but actually POSITIVE TERMS. This is followed by a list of terms: the next step in human evolution; gift; sunshine and rainbows; superpower; diagnostic dance partner.