RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops) header
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Stay-at-home-dad of two. Ever-aspiring comedian. My kids rule but if you can't laugh at parenting, it'll eat you alive.

Joined April 2016
Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)Photo by RockHardDadBod (@atheistpops)
*Parents Anonymous Meeting* "Hello, my name is Bill, and I have a 2yo." "Nice work Bill, the 1st step is admitting you have a problem"
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When someone tries to accuse you of doing something, but they can't prove anything.
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
"He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now."
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WARNING, WARNING, WARNING TRUMP TODAY IS TRYING DISASSOCIATE HIMSELF FROM THE NAZIS AS HIS SUPPORTERS ...RETWEET THIS UNTIL NOVEMBER 8 .
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Exactly. This horse has been brutally beaten to death multiple times. The only people who care about this are trump supporters #whocares xitter.cf/realmuckmaker/status/7…
No one cares about Hillary Clinton’s emails except those who already planned to vote against her dailynewsbin.com/?p=26460 via @dailynewsbin
RockHardDadBod retweeted
I'll take one to go. * Motions to entire buffet line.
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
A haunted house would be pretty scary if it was filled with light switches that accidentally turned on the garbage disposal.
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
Remember like, a week ago, when Trump held a press event about how important it is to believe accusers when they come forward?
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Anyone who thinks they can #Repealthe19th never met Claire.
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This is what the Electoral College map would look like if...well if...ah fuck it, here's a dragon
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Print him off for your kids to color make sure to have plenty of orange
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
I think this dude just flipped to "decided voter"
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
Replying to @TicTacUSA
.@TicTacUSA THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE A TRUMP FLAVOR?
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
Replying to @TicTacUSA
When @TicTacUSA feels "we can't even clean that mouth," it's time to hang it up @realDonaldTrump.
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DR.: you're going to feel a little bit of pressure. Ready? ME: yes DR.: your sister is younger but already has a career path & owns her home
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
Donald Trump has totally lost his mind tonight ... interrupting Clinton. He is making no sense, rambling. How embarrassing #debatenight
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
ME: [rubbing stomach after a big meal] WAITER: please stop touching me
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
[wearing Spider Man underoos] What's wrong baby, does my outfit- "Please don't..." -bug you?
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I played with my kids Furbie til it started cussin, and smokin cigarettes. She never let me touch her toys after that.
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RockHardDadBod retweeted
I was having a shitty day. And then I saw this. I feel a lot better now.
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