occasional subpar tweets, mostly sub-subpar
Joined May 2013
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“Ejecto seato cuz!” Is simply a masterpiece of movie dialogue and if you don’t agree you can fight me
I accidentally shook someone’s hand today.
I met a contractor at a job site and out of sheer habit and exhaustion extended my bare hand.
He hesitated for a nanosecond, long enough for me to realize what I had done, but not long enough to undo it.
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The sensation of his bare palm on mine made me nervous and... a little excited too.
My mind flashed back to a time when we were all just shaking hands, waving these virus spreading digits around like naive children. Oh the bliss. The ignorance. The youth.
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I’m not a huge @Lakers fan but... y’all win one for @Kobe mk? 2020 needs some sort of justice
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Twice today I bit my cheek so hard I started bleeding and there is now a chunk missing from my inner cheek. I need a restart on today.
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I’m not above asking for directions. But if one more person tries to tell me a street name after I explain to them that I have a super computer in my hand that tells me where to go imma lose it. I just follow the blue line, man
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Trump is so hated I could see a ton of millennials finally registering to vote just to get this crazy old white guy out of office. Good thing we have another crazy old white guy to vote for
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diminishing workforce due to lower birth rates. My personal life has been tremendously impacted by immigrants both “uneducated” and “educated”, “skilled” and “unskilled”, and I’m certainly grateful Jesus said go to all the nations, not keep the nations out. But really the
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Speeding tickets are just government blackmai.
Government: “if you don’t pay me $200 I’m going to tell everybody you were driving fast and then your insurance will go up.”
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