@arden_walker

Let me persuade you to follow my example and take a turn about the room. I assure you it is very refreshing.

Joined March 2012
  • Tweets4.3K
  • Following684
  • Followers294
359Media
Just pulled this out of my Percy Pigs bag…
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You ever see a smile so genuine that it breaks your heart?
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My husband just told me where something was in the fridge with absolute confidence!
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Cheers to anyone setting their Halloween makeup with ~15 year old Ben Nye translucent powder this weekend.
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Don’t ever let a cricket play dumb with you. Crickets know exactly what they’re doing.
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Replying to @Hertz
@Hertz it’s nearly 1am here at the Austin airport and your rude staff is not giving us any information. We made a reservation months ago and now we arrive to find you have no cars. What’s going on? Did you overbook?
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@Hertz Your staff are giggling and spinning in their chairs while tired people with reservations wait in line. This is unacceptable. Our pickup time was 11:30pm and it is now 1:03am
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people don’t talk enough about how hard packing is when you have a bunch of small, magical items. lots of important sticks, sentimental pinecones…
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Thomas Becket and Samuel Beckett have always occupied the same place in my brain. Reading an article about Waiting for Godot I have a thought: “so tragic he was murdered in that church.” I have to remind myself that that murder took place 736 years be for the playwright was born.
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So funny that I just had to ask a friend I’ve known since I was 4 for her email address.
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I hope everyone’s hot deacon is reading the part of Jesus tomorrow.
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You would think the priest might be the logical choice but this is incorrect
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My husband is making me delicious mint tea that we bought from a possible cult on our honeymoon road trip. What could be better?
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Grew up thinking I was a huge fan of The Beatles but now I realize I was actually just a huge fan of The Beatles 1 CD that my brother got for Christmas the year I was 8 and I only know those 27 songs.
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Like I’m just now hearing And I Love Her this very moment at age 29
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Uh, read the room @Jeopardy
Jeopardy!
@Jeopardy22 Jun 2023
It's sink or swim. Let's see what you got for this World of Water Final Jeopardy! 🌊: youtube.com/watch?v=Jy0fczZ4…
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A dad and small son just walked by me in the snow and the dad was saying “do you want to shower it off or do you wanna tub?” And I just wish someone would ask me that 🥺🥺😄
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What are the chances that my fiancé will willingly watch Sex & the City with me?
100%Worth a try
0%Slim to none
5 votes • Final results
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You call out to your fiancé in the kitchen that perhaps it would be a good idea to have some mimosas. He turns around with the champagne and OJ already in his hands. Life is beautiful.
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Just ate salad of the first time since before Christmas and damn that tasted good
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