titty lazers pew pew

i started having sex while austin powers was playing and let me tell you, riding a dick with this on in the background is truly a surreal experience

i’m not the only one who feels a lil fun excitement when theres corn in my poop right?

watching emily in paris is clear NPC behavior

no i’m not depressed - i’m just cosplaying as the grandparents in charlie and the chocolate factory

rip to twitter

new scott cramer lookalike: matt from season 3 of love is blind @ScottsTOL

anyone wanna roast my ex about how he is feeding into gun violence? ill send you his snap

straight up if you think there’s more doors than wheels then i will immediately just assume you are dumb and lack critical thinking skills, not sorry

i vote we just shoot him for funsies, if he’s the real deal it won’t matter

All I want is to boink bobby flay

wtf did i just read on quora…

has time changed yet?? pls tell me is this the 1st or 2nd 1:00 am dbdbbdbf

i keep catching myself humming in my post-mæstrobation haze…. yesterday it was beethoven’s 5th symphony and then today was… LMFAO’s sorry for party rocking

no response? wowwwww so you’re just gonna hate crime me during pride month… k

biggest red flag: anyone defending trisha rn

the lint between my toes used to always smell like parmesan but recently it’s be smelling like sweettarts and i think that’s a good sign of personal growth

can the “doge to the moon” people take my NFTs to the moon? #nft #cryptoart @opensea

ngl my toes smell like sweettarts rn