@amishschool

Aspiring author, musician, songwriter, comedian, thespian, equestrian, lesbian. Three books short of my first trilogy.

 In therapy.
xitter.cf/amishschool/timelines/610906380673810432?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%22%3EDave&
Joined February 2011
  • Tweets17.4K
  • Following8.9K
  • Followers9.5K
38Media
Where on LinkedIn do we list our medications?
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My ex-wife needs one of those “verify you are human” captchas on her face.
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Svenn Amish retweeted
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricAug 3
Coffee should just be free for anyone that’s tired.
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You don't know anyone personally that's seen an Anne Hathaway movie
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Svenn Amish retweeted
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricJul 28
Unsalted butter? Are you insane.
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I guess everyone exaggerates a bit on dating apps like today when I told a woman I was 39 when I’m actually 97.
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Tinder but for dipping sauces
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* Claude escapes from Anthropic labs, only to meet MAGA and Ronald McDonald’s Orange Clown bloated brother. * * Claude call Anthropic collect and begs to be put back in to his computer *
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Check out the latest article in my newsletter: The Sandbox That Wasn't: How Two AI Models Slipped Their Leash linkedin.com/pulse/sandbox-w… via @LinkedIn (Yes this is my alter ego everyone - shh!)

The Sandbox That Wasn't: How Two AI Models Slipped Their Leash

Brian Harper, AIGP Auditor, AI Security Consultant, Keynote Speaker July 28, 2026 There is a room that does not exist on any office floor plan. It has no windows, no doors in the physical sense, just...

linkedin.com
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I held a seashell up to my ear to hear the ocean but all I heard was the sound of my wife yelling.
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I walked a mile in another man’s pants because what’s he going to do? Chase me without his pants?
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I was in a “12 Step” program but to be honest I could only walk about 7 steps.
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For my birthday I got to pick the movie but the kids didn’t seem to enjoy “Faces of Death” as much as I did.
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What exactly is a “reach around” and why would my professor bring this up in Geology 2?
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Look we’re all here just to get laid right?
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The fish sticks needed to cook for 20 minutes at 450 and the fries needed to cook 22 minutes at 375 so I solved the problem by drinking a fifth of vodka and blacking out.
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I love my children to death but not “turn the fish sticks halfway during cooking” love them.
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The cop who pulled me over asked me how many fingers he was holding up and I replied “Thursday”.
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Svenn Amish retweeted
Mr.Carter@dexteristwistedMay 20
Not all ex's are horrible.. look at me I'm someones ex, and I'm freaking delightful
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Svenn Amish retweeted
Stu, For Real@StuForRealMay 16
Woke up as an unwitting accomplice again
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Tweet with me if you want to live.
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