@amanda__jo

the bags under my eyes are knock offs

 Cleveland Heights, OH
Joined July 2011
  • Tweets38.8K
  • Following1.7K
  • Followers478
2.5KMedia
If you think I won’t end a friendship over your broke ass political views, you don’t know me very well lmao. If we disagree on the best way to make the world better for marginalized populations that might be fine but if you’re not fighting for that then honestly suck my nuts
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I quote this all the time so much it’s one of the funniest stand up bits of our lifetimes
kuss@dontkuss15h
Marc Maron has never been more correct
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Theresa Disgusting retweeted
evan loves worf
@esjesjesjOct 17
But he didn’t cure cancer. He cut cancer research. And he cut healthcare for millions of people.
Matt Van Swol
@mattvanswolOct 17
Elon Musk could literally cure cancer and every Leftist would protest in favor of cancer in the streets. Truly remarkable.
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It wouldn’t even be a choice I would just instinctively start swinging on someone if they mugged or pick pocketed me. Perhaps it really is my American heritage at play
Rachel Zader
@RachelZaderOct 17
I have heard consistently that European pickpockets often avoid the American tourists because unlike other citizens, they will so often crash out and beat your ass if they catch you.
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Theresa Disgusting retweeted
miya@miyarah_Oct 16
la manzanilla viendo todo lo que tiene que calmar en mi sistema nervioso
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Two flats in a week while I’m trying to not crash out lmao
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• Children coming home from school in coffins from 2000-2025: 529 • Children coming home from school with a sex-change surgery: still 0 YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG FUCKING SHIT!
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We need to go French style on these fuckers
Headquarters
@HQNewsNowOct 15
Reporter: Do you believe that 5 deaths, potentially 6 from measles in Pennsylvania-- Staffer: We're not gonna talk about measles-- Reporter: He's the highest ranking health official in the country, he can answer that question. He's a Cabinet Secretary.
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It’s a little annoying and a little validating to feel like I had no energy and way too many chronic illness symptoms yesterday and realize I just Forgot All My Meds which I used to never do but now I have a neurological disorder that makes me forget shit lmao vicious cycle bro
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Okay but everyone is so deeply stupid that it seems like mass extinction is inevitable
Aaron Rupar
@atruparOct 16
Trump: "We have 5 states where your child goes off to school as Tim and comes back as Tammy 3 or 4 days later. It's true. And teachers make a decision. 'Goodbye Timmy I love you so much, I'll see you later.' And you say, 'Where's my son? My son is in the hospital.' Can you imagine? They don't even need approval"
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This is a trick question because if you own a phone and drink water you’ll be told you should be able to own a home
renAsonceman@renAsoncemanOct 14
Serious questions for those who feel that can’t make it in this economy: Do you have a $1000+ phone? How many streaming services do you pay for? Do you buy water? Do you buy coffee @ a coffee shop? Do you pay for games on your phone/comp? How many times a month do you door dash?
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