Reading Salman Rushdie's #josephanton and it's so good I wanna crawl into a timeless hole so I can just read it in its entirety.

How do the producers not realise how bad the sound is? #Emmys

I cant figure out if I dreamed I had plans on Friday that I forgot about or if I remembered plans just before I fell asleep. #mondayproblems

Fack!!! Fell on my hands and knees over a curb. Worst start of a week ever.

Sunday crossword conquered. #CruciverbalistForLife instagr.am/p/Mmj_TtO834/

IF YOU PLAY YOUR MUSIC ON SPEAKERPHONE IN PUBLIC I WISH I COULD PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. AND THE NUTS.

3 weeks until I'm on my way to @Bonnaroo!! The countdown has begun. I can't wait!!

Baseball Tourney all weekend. The best.

...She don't need to understand!

HER NAME IS RIO!!!

Things I'm currently thankful for: beers. Duran Duran. That's all.

Oh I just figured out why. Couldn't wait til you got off the subway to grind your weed, buddy?

Well it's 4:44 but the subway sure smells like it's 4:20

Ok I just need to get through 3 more days til I can start looking for my DREAM HOUSE!!!

Winter almost erased the memory of what men who don't shower or wear deodorant crowded around me on the subway smells like. Almost.

Arg. I can't sleep. My day keeps replaying groundhog style #getmeouttahere

Still going...

45 mins of talking about dogs!! #theworst

Well fuck everyone. I guess I'm watching Jane eyre alone.