This is where I part my ways.

Me: I’ve already bought you two cars. Aiden: One day I’m going to rob a bank and buy YOU a car. Me:

Like son, like father!

To Patrick: It’s the day named after you! Happy patrick bravo day or whatever they call it

I’m trying to open my horizon.

Aiden on taking a picture after voting: Hurry, I’m starting to cry. Me: why are you crying? Aiden: the sun’s in my eyes and it’s too hot. Me: you mean too bright? Aiden: same thing.

Aiden on voting: I did my civil duty as an American. Me: Civic? Aiden: That’s what I said.

About using fake police lights to record a TikTok: “Trust me; I’m not trying to get arrested for police interpretation.” 🙄

You probably only have, like, 30 good years left in the tank. The day you lose your memory and forget who I am, I’m putting you in adoption care.

I'm going to find a Hawaiian girlfriend, and she's going to teach me how to Lulu. 🌸💃

Pasta lamana. (Hasta mañana)

Can you look at my air dryer? I think it's broken.

It’s already down the patch. (Hatch)

I’m going to become a beer belly.

I have armpit hair. I’m a grown man.

(Trying to sex our duck for correct gender): Bruce is clearly a girl. Look at the way she walks with her hips (waddles)

A: i had 6 pieces of kfc chicken and i think i’m pregnant now 😀

Do you know kids your age who have gotten COVID-19? Aiden: Yes, all of my friends in California.

I have two armpits hairs.

Me: it’s in a completely different country. A: Yeah, I think it was New England or something.