Adulting: wanting to be invited but not wanting to go

Getting older means celebrating St. Patrick's Day with a shamrock shake instead of green beer.

Getting older mean celebrating St. Patrick's Day by drinking green tea instead of green beer.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just pretending to be busy.

I'm not avoiding work, I'm just prioritizing my staring into space time.

I'm not a morning person, or an afternoon person, or an evening person, really.

I'm not sure if I'm the problem, or if it's just that everyone else is wrong.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm delegating.

I'm not lazy, I'm just on power saving mode.

Me: I don’t want to go to work today My bills: lol good one

You didn't miss garbage day. This week has a holiday.

No one is more unprepared for battle than someone walking around Costco without a cart.

*smells shirt on floor* Yeah, this is fine to wear.

big week for things you were going to "circle back" for in the new year.

I never wanted to come tbh

“I don’t even own a jacket” -Floridians

Followers in the Midwest looking at the forecast.

I don't know who needs to hear this but your kid has a secret santa book exchange party that they need to dress up and bring 26 gluten free cupcakes for tomorrow that they haven't told you about yet.