ニゾー

Harry: "Uncle, this is Dracaena." Uncle Vernon: "Oh, WHAT NOW?! Another burden? Good Lord, Harry, living with you is already enough! And now you've brought a girlfriend? What's next, the entire population of poor people?!" Dracaena: "My name is Dracaena Malfoy." Uncle Vernon: "..." Uncle Vernon: "I'm sorry, WHAT?" Dracaena: "Dracaena Malfoy." Uncle Vernon: "THE MALFOYS?! THE MALFOYS?!" Vernon's face suddenly turned pale. Harry: "Uncle?" Uncle Vernon: "The family associated with William the Conqueror? Richard the Lionheart? Connections to half the German nobility? Heroes of the Napoleonic Wars and have many stock in nearly every European country and America company?!" Dracaena: "My family has a long history, yes and yes we are very rich very much." Uncle Vernon: "..." Uncle Vernon: "PETUNIA!" Aunt Petunia: "WHAT IS IT NOW, VERNON?!" Uncle Vernon: "OUR NEPHEW HAS BROUGHT HOME A MALFOY!" Aunt Petunia: "A WHAT?!" Uncle Vernon: "DUDLEY! GET THE CAMERA! GET THE GOOD CAMERA! THE ONE WE GAVE YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Harry: "Uncle, what are you doing?" Uncle Vernon: "WHAT AM I DOING?! WHAT AM I DOING?! HARRY, MY BOY, YOU HAVE JUST CHANGED THE HISTORY OF THIS HOUSE!" Dracaena: "I'm sorry?" Uncle Vernon: "MISS MALFOY! WELCOME! PLEASE, COME INSIDE! WOULD YOU LIKE TEA? BISCUITS? THE ENTIRE HOUSE?!" Harry: "Uncle, five minutes ago I was a burden." Uncle Vernon: "SILENCE, HARRY! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NOBILITY AND I'M YOUR FATHER NOW!" Harry: "Okay, WHAT?." Vernon suddenly grabbed Dudley by both shoulders and stared him directly in the eyes. Uncle Vernon: "DUDLEY, LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY!" Dudley: "WHAT, DAD?!" Uncle Vernon: "WE ARE NOW NOBLE, DUDLEY! YOU BETTER BEHAVE, OKAY?!" Dudley: "WE'RE WHAT?!" Uncle Vernon: "NOBLE! NOBLE, YOU HEAR ME?! NO MORE BURPING AT THE TABLE! NO MORE THROWING FOOD! NO MORE ACTING LIKE A PIG!" Dudley: "BUT DAD!" Uncle Vernon: "YOU WILL LEARN MANNERS! YOU WILL LEARN ETIQUETTE! YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO BOW!" Harry: "Uncle, she's just my girlfriend." Uncle Vernon: "JUST YOUR GIRLFRIEND?! HARRY, YOU ABSOLUTE GENIUS! YOU'VE FOUND US A WAY INTO THE ARISTOCRACY!" Dracaena: "..." Aunt Petunia: "Vernon, should we prepare the guest room?" Uncle Vernon: "THE GUEST ROOM?! PREPARE THE BEST ROOM! AND SOMEBODY FIND ME A BOOK ON NOBLE TITLES!" He turned back to Dracaena, suddenly standing straighter than Harry had ever seen him. Uncle Vernon: "Miss Malfoy, welcome to our humble home. We are deeply honored." Harry: "Can I have a bigger bedroom now?" Uncle Vernon: "HARRY, YOU MAY HAVE THE ENTIRE UPSTAIRS!"