jorgen von strangle

I’ve seen a ton of proposals lately and this inspired me to make a thread of proposal ideas. She’ll 100% say yes if used. Here ya go.

They didn’t even bother to give direct audio or video on the #messi event. No clue what’s going on and Apple TV clearly doesn’t know either.

Apple TV really dropping the ball on this Messi broadcast. Absolutely chaotic.

I love when Matty Healy starts hurling thoughts into the abyss on Twitter. Inspiring.

Only tweeting so you all see my new name. Hope you like it.

People always assume”Nick” is short for “Nicholas”. However, my full name is Nickelback Alex Bernard.

Today, I was at goodwill and a man walked up to me and said “do you read good” and I said yes and then he handed me two pairs of maternity pants and asked what size they were. I said “women’s large maternity pants” and he said “oh”

Kenny look like John Mayer mixed with every Jersey Shore cast member #theBachelorette

It’s a store called “hats” and we are all ok with it

Thank y’all for the support on this haha like this tweet plz I want to do the weather it’s my dream make sure Bill sees this plz

I made a summer playlist and I’m still adding songs every day. You can use it if you want! Or not, doesn’t bother me. open.spotify.com/playlist/08…

Hey @BillMeck, how many retweets would it take for me to help you do the weather one day?

*gives dog dog food* *gives dog treats* *dog still eats grass and mulch and kitchen crumbs*

All I’m saying is that it’s really nice to be working from home because I can always look up and see Apple TV screensavers rolling. Blessed.

“For all their generosity of spirit, they password protect their wireless?”

I wish I liked @bertkreischer’s standup, you feel me @tomsegura?

75 favs and I’ll list my friend Austin’s car on Craigslist.

Game idea: challenge your friends with “what are the odds that you start a fitness insta account”

There I go again typing “mom” into the search bar on Facebook.