kyfu retweeted
I never send STOP to political texts i just spam them hoping their twilio bill goes up
kyfu retweeted
It could have been any of us
😳 A man gets duct-taped to his seat on a flight after allegedly making racist and anti-gay remarks.
Photos: tmz.me/3T9B25X
kyfu retweeted
I can’t wait for this honestly, it’s so refreshing that in this woke culture there’s still a comedian who isn’t afraid to make fun of every single group except one. Almost all the groups
Yo, Ali G has a massiv announcement - trailer drops TOMORROW. #AliGWhoIzI
Ali G: Who Iz I? | Trailer Tomorrow (Sony Pictures) - HD
كلب يدعى فرودو كان معتاد على اللعب ودحرجة العلب البلاستيكية الفارغة، وهنا كان يلعب بعلبه كبيرة وفجأة انفجرت العلبه ومن شدة الانفجار اشتغل صوت انذار بعض السيارات
فرودو سقط متيبس على الارض واعتقد الكثير انه اصابه مكروه، لكن لاحقا بعد خمس دقائق بدأ يتحرك واستعاد نشاطه. وانفجر المقطع وتحول فرودو لميم كبير في روسيا
اتضح ان العبوه الكبيرة كانت تحتوي على بقايا بيرة ومع الحرارة تراكمت فيه الغازات، لاحقا اطلق مصنع LaBEERint بيرة خاصه باسم Choko Frodo تكريما له
kyfu retweeted
Wasn’t gonna drink tn but can’t let Brad drink alone on his first night back
Brad Pitt says he's drinking alcohol again after seven years sober.
Read more: tmz.me/4wnZrlU
kyfu retweeted
I needed to move a sofa.
I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"
I did not know anybody with a truck.
He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.
"You gotta know somebody with a truck."
I asked how one acquires such a person.
He said, "You just do."
This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.
He said, "Ask Kevin."
I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.
I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.
Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.
Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.
I had not asked for a second man.
The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.
They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.
I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.
I asked what I owed them.
Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."
That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.
Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.
We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.
Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."
I still think about that.
Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.
"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."
He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.
Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.
I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.
Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.
I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."
I have a guy.
I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.
He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."
I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.





































