dead cell

What’s the deal with all the school terror/bomb threats this morning? My son’s school has been evacuated and I’m reading it’s happening all over the UK, inc. Northern Ireland

Nearly all these far-right “activists” are drug dealers / convicted criminals / wife-beaters. Funny that.

Celebrity Masterchef really stretching the word ‘celebrity’ as far it can possibly go. One has-been and a bunch of nobodies.

There’s always a receipt

I’ll say 2 things about Pam Bondi. First - She looks fucking incredible for 60 years of age. Last - she is the quite possibly the worst woman alive

This might be the worst crime in human history #cadburys #minieggs

Liverpool 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mind when all the pundits were creaming themselves 6 weeks ago about how Liverpool were going to stroll to the league title? Schadenfreude.

Is it really a surprise to anyone that @waitrose have been exposed as a bunch of cunts?

Newcastle punting Isak for £130m and bringing in Woltemade for half that is the greatest heist in history #NUFC #LFC

That teaser scene of Liam Hemsworth as Geralt of Rivia…. Fair play. It’s not too bad at all #TheWitcher

Stick that right up yer farter Uli Hoeneß

The guy’s apologised and learned a powerful lesson in humility and selflessness. The kid got a signed cap.. Everybody’s happy. Can we just move the fuck on now please? Stop trying to ruin someone’s life over a hat.

Thoughts and prayers for Sesko, Mbeumo and Cunha who pied Champions League football for Round 2 humiliation in Lincolnshire. Great choice boys 🙏🏼

Benjamin Sesko signed for Man U to be a benchwarmer. Great move m8 👍🏻

I can fully understand Brentford wanting £60m for Wissa, because if they lose him they are going DOWN. I suspect they’ll cave in a couple of weeks time.

So, @realDonaldTrump has agreed that the killing of Ukrainians can go on. Gotcha. #theartofthedeal

I think it’s fair to say that Alexander Isak has absolutely destroyed his reputation, not just with Newcastle fans, but across football in general. What an utter ingrate. I hope he does go to Liverpool now, because I reckon he’ll fail there.

Why are 96% of these “load in 4K” pictures/phone wallpapers Spiderman?

Well, the @netflix UI is now permanent and there’s no way to revert back to the old one. I’m voting with my wallet here. #cancelnetflix