Once again sobbing in my living room at 10am but this time my upstairs neighbor is (still) hosting their entire family for Christmas and everybody just got here

Can u believe that a stray Patron bottle in the streets of Detroit slashed my tires (yes, obviously)

My server at brunch just wished me a Happy Honda Days

Today is the one year anniversary of me calling off work bc I had a panic attack bc I found out my bf hacked my computer to creep on my texts and then we heard our upstairs neighbor literally dying while we both cried about it anyways the body keeps the score happy December 3rd

Where can I do sports betting on The National Dog Show

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Land Acknowledgment

I’m definitely not a sociopath bc a baby smiled and waved at me today

Why do I always get thrown some hard truths or bad news and then realize I’ve been walking around w $666 cash the whole time

Not even trying to be dramatic but the thought of going back to work tomorrow is making me physically ill

I think this whole Ch*rlie K*rk thing is just another classic example of if u talk shit u will get popped and that’s life babe

I pass a clothing store in a shitty neighborhood everyday called Speed Jeans and one time the S was out. Peed Jeans.

The spider in my basement just pulled a knife on me and tried to steal my wallet

Listen man I have my own issues w monogamy but I’m next to a poly couple at the bar rn and I could never imagine being that fucking annoying

Hey yeah sorry I had a hard week gotta get drunk tonight before therapy tomorrow morning to calm tf down

Accidentally got the ladder foot stuck in the risotto in the walk-in again @ work today. I rly don’t care anymore guys idgaf fr idk

If there’s one thing I don’t wanna do it’s literally anything

Do u ever have a bad day but ur like well tomorrow will be better and then tomorrow is like also a pretty bad day

Watching Coffin Wars (???) on ESPN 8 (????) at the bar ?????

I had a hard convo w a friend yesterday and at the hardest part a Rasta man on roller skates floated by us singing a song and balancing a 4ft stick on his head. Silliness finds a way.