Joined July 2008
Did I predict this shit or what
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No longer looking for a job. Finna provide tech support for old people in exchange for food, medicine, and sage advice.
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Look. I’m all for texting. But 100 of the time, the conversation WILL end the very second you put a hashtag in your text. Stop that shit
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Cats Money Weed
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As an immigrant kid the Lord & Taylor logo was mystifying; so was the letter D in Disney that I swore was a G for yeears
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If you're gonna kill yourself, at least do it behind suicide doors
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Printer "of color" is the preferred term, actually.
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I cannot date guys who purchase their own blankets. This is what moms are for, a.i.r.?
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Before Siri we had Awesome Bowtie Guy: youtube.com/watch?v=9bjve67p…
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Hello New York. You look lovely today.
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Walmart has 18 million likes on Facebook. Umm whut are y'all doin? You okay?
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Google should just immediately tell you if the person you googled is gay or not.
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One Man Can Make One Woman Hate All Mens
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Ladies, ladies. Don't date a man who uses hand sanitizer. He's probably terrified of vaginas
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Lady in line behind me at security, you can stop laughing at yer own joke about your underwire bra not going through. Wasn't funny 5 min ago
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Whenever I OD on caffeine, this lil guy in my head jumps up and down screaming "I LOVE COFFEE! I LOVE COFFEEEEEGIMMEEMOOOORE" is this normal
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Overhearing conversations in Portland coffee shops is quite possibly more entertaining than the Internet and television combined
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If you meet a girl and she plays hard to get, it's either cuz she thinks you're ugly, or she has herpes #trust
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One kokopelli decoration is the gateway drug to an entire house full of kokopellis
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