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you never see women walking along hocking up phlegm and spitting on the pavement, we don't even do it privately in the toilet, what is wrong with men? is it a medical condition that only affects males? or do they consider it some sort of misguided display of masculinity?
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Sometimes l'l be telling somebody a story and halfway through realize if someone was telling me this story I wouldn't give a fuck
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When he’s right he’s right
.@katyperry Katy, what the hell were you thinking when you married loser Russell Brand. There is a guy who has got nothing going, a waste!
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.@katyperry Katy, what the hell were you thinking when you married loser Russell Brand. There is a guy who has got nothing going, a waste!
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When I talk about the weather it isn’t small talk. I actually care about it and I want to discuss
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YOU'RE BORN. YOU SEE PANTS STYLES GO FROM BAGGY TO SKINNY BACK TO BAGGY EVERY 10 YEARS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU DIE. THE END
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My date of birth feels like a celebrity to me. Whenever I see it written somewhere random, like on a movie poster or a milk carton, I'm like omg there she is! Ugh, she looks great :)
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There might be no greater sign that humans are naturally monogamous or life long pair bonders than how badly men AND women are distressed (often destoyed) by breakups/divorces






















