@___flat__
Joined July 2024
  • Tweets3.9K
  • Following147
  • Followers130
351Media
why are so few serial killers fat
2
16
“he doesn’t normally like to be held,” they say in astonishment as i carry around their cat which ate the pill that fell out of my pocket
1
22
just thought you should know
129
they should do salt and vinegar zyns
5
110
getting fired because i gave the boss’ daughter the ick :(
1
101
that smog from canada isn't from wildfires that just happens when you have too many indians
1
4
213
a fatty has been sitting at my desk at work crumbs on desk, chair left on diabetes mode this should be illegal
4
253
going to start handing out pins to coworkers and asking them why they aren’t wearing them
2
213
why are female optometrists always flirtatious
1
273
but why
1
307
can humans take dust baths why can’t i chinchillamaxx and just roll around in the morning
1
3
373
dystopian novel but nobody riots when the food runs out because they’re all on peptides
3
326
imagine how annoying the strivers will be when they’re homeless
1
412
a friend once didn’t leave a message because the prompt “sounded chinese” i’d set my siri to the australian accent (less grating than the original) i still think about this sometimes
2
424
about to taste some WAP (warm apple pie)
3
377
almost turning that age where i need to stop smiling in my driver license photo
2
281
the name “good friday” implies the existence of a bad friday
1
260
Load more