somewhere along the line, i stopped wanting more for myself. i became cynical and weary about fulfilling my dreams and desires. it seems now i'm trying to recover the dreamer and the artist from the constraints of a severely unfeeling world. my liberation is within alignment .

everyday i have to give myself another chance. i have to convince myself to stick it out because. just because. even though things don’t look how i want them to right now, with time i might get closer. with practice, i might. with patience, i might. fulfillment is my revolution .

deprogramming is an arduous task. i trek back to privacy, and the foyer of my mind expands. i'm trying to figure out what's mine and what's forced. i find myself eager to disappear into quiet. not to be lost, but to finally be found in the soft, unmapped terrain of my own skin .

figured out that what i really love is flirting; that is my arena; i love the intersection of warmth, goofiness, and sensuality; lust makes me brave, audacious; i love treading that threshold; and i never want to choose between the safety of comfort and the thrill of the chase .

my objective is to move to the beach and live the life i've been visualizing. no more detours and side quests. that's what i'm about, that's the type of timing i'm on. i'm not the one acting brand new out here. until i’m where i wanna be, i'd rather get attached to nothing .

my love is not dying; it's maturing. they often feel like the same thing, but they are different. my experience of love is expanding to include more flux, more space, more mystery, and, somehow, a deeper singularity. my intense love is evolving to include me — the missing piece .

i'm the driver of my destiny. trust me, i’ve tried to hand the wheel over. no one has risen to the task of taking me somewhere profoundly fulfilling, no matter how hard i begged or how long i waited. it's freeing to acknowledge that nobody belongs to you. the journey's (yours) .

you’re the only home you’ll ever know. decorate yourself with love and compassion, furnish yourself with inner learning, declutter yourself with reflection, and don’t let the dust of routine pile up on your soul. let your own heartbeat be the soulful music that fills every room .

i need new memories to replace the old ones. supplant my past with a fresher past. i need me a fresh start. we know nothing lasts, and that's why we crave repetition — to chase a shadow of forever. give me something beautiful, over and over, until it leaves a mark that stays .

there isn’t one big path to happiness where if you make the wrong step you miss out on your purpose, your soul mate, your happy life. there are multiple paths to joyful life. fucking let go of the idea that there's only one way, or even that you know what that way looks like .

seriously coming back to myself. i mean standing under the sun, smiling, cracking jokes, writing, and even telling the people i miss that i miss them, regardless of where we stand and without concern about their response or lack thereof. i’m honoring whatever is present in me .

when i take myself out of my normal environment, it reminds me that i can be reset at any time. i can stop hoarding so many relics of my past. a new self shows up to every moment. the present erodes my identity; it exposes a dynamic soul that answers to a hundred names .

it's incredible how much love is in the world, awaiting me. i don’t know why it’s happening now — why i feel the flowers bursting from the valleys in my heart. perhaps they’ve had enough time to bask in the rain .

one of the most incredible things about being alive is nurturing an idea until it is a fully-realized reality. to know that i only had the ghost of something special until i gave it time and skin .

i'm just a drop, but that doesn't take away from the uniqueness of my singularity, the immensity of my potential, or the legitimacy of my dreams. being "small" is not the same as thinking small .

it's not money i want, it's free time. not having to labor for capital would free up that time. like yeah, i'm grateful for my stability, but the root of the issue is unchanged .

i'm being rewarded for my consistency, for showing up. i need to remember this feeling when i inevitably wanna give up on all this .

don't sleep on your own mind. you're a world-builder, and a lot of this is of your making .

addiction pretends to be familiarity, and familiarity pretends to be comfort .

to ( be ) to ( be ) to ( be ) .