Ian Scarlet

*coughs, twitches, rolls over… bumps TV remote. TV turns on, displaying this*

*coughs*

Wtf. I wuz jus’ takin’ a nap, ‘n now all this? Where’s my name?

*bored, pushes “nurse” button repeatedly*

*wakes up again, looks around, rubs eyes*

*coughs, gasps*

*beep* *beep* ♥v^_v^_v^_v^_√\/♥ *beep* *beep*

((Ta be honest, RL’s been crazy fer a while. It’s really been a whole NEW RL fer me in the last 18 months ‘r so. That + timezones… sucks.))

Whut’s all this osik ‘bout me bein’ in a coma? I’m fine. Jus’ been lazy as kark, ’s all.

*wand’rs onta th’ bridge, leans on th’ rail* We goin’ on a trip ‘gain, darlin’? @SharaTheOrion @Lady_Everon

*finds somethin' o' @SharaTheOrion's called an "iPod", a song called "500 Miles" comes blarin' outta it* Sounds like a drinkin' song!

One o' these days, Imma gonna make it back here onna regul’r basis. Honest.

*pops a beer, puts feet up, ’n watches th’ feed roll by*

Watch out, I ate beans. #MakeSexAwkwardIn5Words

Go make me a sammich. #MakeSexAwkwardIn5Words

Cripes. I show up for a few minutes ‘n already there’s a bad news story ‘bout it. Dun worry. I ain’t crash’d in YEARS.

Hiya, y’all. I ain’t dead yet, jus’ been nappin’ fer a while. I blame @Lady_Everon. ‘S whut happens when ya give me th’ keys ta th’ booze

Hey @NASA. I hear yer #orion spaceship didn’t get offa th’ pad. Ya should let @SharaTheOrion help. She c’n git ANYTHIN’ up.

Kark. I’m outta rum.