My husband told me he had stopped initiating sex because he wanted to see how long I could go without noticing that something was wrong in our marriage. I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. It started on a Friday night after a stressful week. He tried to get intimate, I said I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. He kissed my forehead and said goodnight. I didn’t think twice about it. The next week he didn’t initiate anything. I assumed he was busy or tired. Then two weeks passed. Then three. He was still a good husband—paid bills, helped around the house, asked about my day, never complained. But the random kisses, the closeness on the couch, the reaching for me in bed… all of that stopped. One night I finally asked, “Why have you stopped touching me?” He looked at me and said, “Because I wanted to know if you would ever reach for me first.” I was offended. “So this has been a test?” He replied, “Call it whatever you want. I just wanted to know whether you actually desire me or whether you’re only comfortable with me because I’m your husband.” I reminded him that I worked long hours, managed most of the household, and was constantly exhausted. He listened, then said something that hit hard: “When you reject me, I tell myself you’re tired. When you don’t touch me for weeks, I tell myself you’re stressed. I’ve made excuses for you for so long that I don’t even know whether you miss me anymore.” I started crying. Not because I believed I owed him sex, but because I realized we had been living in the same house while experiencing two completely different marriages. I felt like I was doing everything I could to keep our lives running. He felt like he was living with someone who loved him as a responsibility but no longer desired him as a partner. I asked if he’d been thinking about another woman. He looked hurt and said no—but he’d been thinking about what it would feel like to stop asking for something he kept hoping I’d give him willingly.