Phoenix 🐦‍🔥

Couldn’t help but notice everyone‘s got one of those fancy little inboxes now, guess I‘ll join in on the fun! Maybe drop some wisdom, or your best dad joke that I can use to make the kids roll their eyes at me ⬇️⬇️ acedefense.straw.page

Lady told me I am haunted so I said 'Oh that's just Mia she's nice' and I think I scared her

Trucy thinks she‘s sly asking me when she‘ll get a new mom. I know she just thinks I need someone

I locked myself out… lol I know the balcony door is open… However how high are the chances that I break my neck if I try to climb up to the balcony

// bumping again 🥰

Think I‘m just gonna lie down right here

// ngl sometimes I just post here what I‘d post personally anyway cause Phoenix and I are both cringe millennials with lots of opinions and chronic migraines

With my friend of 20+ years?? Is that such an oddity?

I wanted to go for a run tonight but migraine says no 😓

Your life is truly so exciting when you get home and think to yourself, oh crap, I haven’t done my wordle yet!!

Why can I not look away when I come across a "cave diving gone wrong" storytime video That‘s my literal worst nightmare but I need to hear what happened, why??

Aww, cute!! I love them!

// Now I do sleep tho 😴

// should have been asleep for two hours already, instead I made this Still a WIP but you can go poke already if you want

My neighbor‘s a right old grump, he’s the kind of guy to call the cops over kids playing too loud. Sends constant pointless complaints to the landlord, too. He must be real bored all day

// Very tempted to flip some old account to Beanix ngl

Take a nap

67! I love this one cause it‘s an absolute foolproof way to make the kids cringe hehe

Yeah, of course! We watched her show often growing up 🎶

I am, yes! We go for lunch whenever she‘s in town 😁

I‘ll dump a can of tuna mixed with mayo into some rice. I always have some rice frozen for that kinda thing, just in case!