Wu-Tang Academic

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9........ITS THE TENURE-TRACK COMMANDMENTS

When ya get the "final paper notification" email two weeks before the conference starts...

NUMBER TWO: Never do no paper reviews - dont you know that shit just a nuisance for students?

Rule Nombre Uno: Always let hoes know, where u got that degree u hold, cuz u no, ya pedigree better be Ivy League or some top-rank stuff...

A step-by-step booklet for you to get on that tenure-track and best-paper plaques

I been in this game for years, won me some fellowships...there's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manuscript

Poisonous paragraphs/ smash ya manuscript in half / it be the @WuTangAcademic on the Warpath!

RAW, IMMA GIVE IT TO YA, WITH NO TRIVIA / YOU WANT A TENURED JOB, GOTTA MOVE TO BOLIVIA #jobmarket #tooturnt

I'M BOUT TO BE A GRAD / ONLY GOT 20k IN MY STIPEND / I'M, I'M HUNTING, LOOKIN' FOR A POSTDOC / #GradLife 's FUCKIN' AWESOME #AcademicRapGame

NEW ALBUM DROPPIN' SOON: MY BEAUTIFUL DARK TENURE FANTASY

Shouts out to all 1st yr grad students grindin' out there! We know that y'all the new slaves

I LOVE BEST PAPERS, THAT'S MY FUCKIN' PROBLEM!

When I get my reviews back for a paper I submitted

I ain't a postdoc, so stop wondr'ing / Citations are the sweetest joy, next to getting funding #AcademicRapGame #HailMary

Do you think your Strong Reject can defeat me? Enguard, I'll let you try my #rebuttal style... #BringDaAcademicRuckus

I be tossin' and flossin' my research is awesome / More academic awards than Rachel Carson #silentspring #AcademicRapGame

If she only work with the .NET Framework #SheBASIC

Wake Up. Drank. Research. Drank. Teach class. Drank. Meetings. Drank. Grant Apps. Drank. Go home. Drank. Working. Drank. Working. Drank

Beyond the walls of academia, life is defined / I think of @Google when I'm in a Industry state of mind #AcademicRapGame

If citations sold, truth be told, I'd probably be, academically, Noam Chomsky. #AcademicRapGame