Just heard a girl scream cuz a ladybird landed on her. It was my mate norman.

Me, wookie, wriggles and snake are off to compost corner. Gonna get wasted.

A dog just sniffed me.

"@SophieMessenger: @WormTweets just saw u soakin up the sun on the path ;) 😜" I'm gonna be so tanned people will think I'm a centipede.

Sometimes I burst out the ground as fast as I can so someone might think I'm the thing out the subway in men in black.

Wood louses are pathetic, they act all hard with their secret hideouts, then a human touches then and they curl up in a ball? Oh please.

I was gonna sunbathe, but my mate wriggle did it and shrivelled up. Killer tan though...he was pretty much black.

Just chillin by a pond. Or a puddle. Not sure.

So jealous of centipedes.

Sometimes I curl up and pretend I'm a cobra.

Some fatty just walked over me, I could feel it from down here.

#WhyDoiAlways end up by ants they're so annoying. Like carrying leaves is impressive? Its not. #JustJealousIDontHaveLegs.

I've never met a sparrow that wasn't a total dick.

I just narrowly escaped a spade that just crashed through my roof.

I love the earth. But its always dark down here. Not that I know. I'm lacking on the eye front.

If you cut me in half, I'd grow back. #JustSayin.

Just chillin by some tree roots.

Just got carried across a field by a child.

Was gonna meet the mole to discuss which of us is more blind. I waited, but I didn't see him.

Gonna write a book. The lion the witch and the worm. Set in a place called farmia.