Who needs human companionship when you can have a headless robot cat?

What the world has come to: you know something bad just happened in the world when you see the hashtag #PrayFor___ trending on Twitter.

Car repair shop gotz A+ biz model: install super wide speed bumps nearby. Cannot avoid bumping head on ceiling or damaging car as you cross.

Bad habit when you live alone. You start talking to objects like "Phone, where aaare you?"

New: preventative maintenance signs beside an escalator that's been out for ~5 months. It keeps you safe by not letting you ride it at all!

Sadness is flying to the US and walking down a glass wall dividing you from Tim Horton's.

The best part about #snowday is watching people do the shakeoff dance to get snow off themselves!

It can't be a coincidence a #TTC ad for I'mNotAlone (unexpected pregnancy) was placed next to You'reNotAlone (bible studies).

What happens when they try to build 5 condos in one block? Weekly water cutoffs with residual water pressure problems :D

Just saw someone rollerblading. Very impressed. Guess the strategy is break something so you can stay in bed the rest of winter.

If you want a $3 massage, just ride the Bayview bus. The vibrations from the road are crazy.

@leWires And lose my claim to being a social media early adopter? :O

This is what an awesome PSA looks like. @YRP

#1 sign you check Google Finance too much. When you notice an ever so slight change in font color ._. @GoogleFinSvcs

The good part of Yonge St is with all the stores opening up and closing down, you feel like you're walking down a new street each time.

With all the construction around, at least I can learn to become a plumber as a backup backup career. @HazeltonLanes

Yorkdale Mall's parking lot looks like a giant mining operation.

When I eat yummy food, I wish I could ask for its recipe but "can you tell me how to make this so I won't have to come back?" Unpersuasive.

In Paris, gym membership is called the subway. Cardio is called switching subway lines.