@WillPitman

Updates from the suburban dad front line

 Bromley, London
Joined December 2010
  • Tweets9.4K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers535
2.4KMedia
So, apparently, Henry bricked up in a tunnel is "too sad" for a first birthday cake
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"God, you're looking beautiful today" #TheTraitors #celebritytraitors
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So laptops self heal now?
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I’m currently on leave but I drove into work today, just for 10 minutes, to introduce my all-time favourite film on @BBCOne #backtothefuture
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They’re playing the Park Stage Friday afternoon
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Find someone that makes you feel as special as Amazon does.
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'an informal 19-stop drinking route' @secondmentions bbc.com/news/articles/c3evyg…

Otley run crossbow attack suspect dies, police confirm

The 38-year-old posted online before the planned violence and listed his targets.

bbc.com
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Did you hear Gwyneth Paltrow has started eating carbs and cheese again?
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Seven planets align in UK skies for last time until 2040 bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yd… Pluto's wounds reopened:
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Linda working it #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK
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Pop punk band Busted has sent a legal "cease and desist" letter to Sir Keir Starmer demanding he stop saying they "Crashed the Wedding"
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It is ten years today since I got my favourite ever Rush Hour Crush published in the Metro.
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Parents sharing pics of their chicken pox-riddled kid on class WhatsApp asking if they're sufficiently scabbed to go to school tomorrow
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First day back
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Port to *Starboard *cheese board
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Emergency indecent 👀
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Window cat does not care for this cold nonsense
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Ripping CDs to my iPod so 8yo can listen to her own stuff in the car like it's 2005
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People of Sydenham must have buns like a Greek God walking up that hill to the pub
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Pigs taking one for the toads
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Well, don't shout about it FFS
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